If You Could
by Petra Megami Assari
Summary: Shonenai. What if you could get rid of all the bad memories? If you could change how you acted? If you could forget everything? Would you? And what happens, if like Heero, you didn't have a choice?
1. The Awakening

Petra: Well, it here is guys, my new story and this one's a long little bugger. I really had a lot of fun with this story because I got to imagine what Heero would be like without his memories and how Duo would act if Heero started teasing him.   
Kati: The teasing parts not in this chapter, by the way, you have to wait a little while. ^_-   
Petra: It was kinda hard for me to write this because I'd never really written a fic where it focused just on Heero and Duo and their relationship.   
Kati: So, if at times, it seems uncomfortable, please forgive.  
Petra: *shrugs* Anyway, for those who were wondering, this will not turn into yaoi (meaning graphic boy-boy sex for those who don't know). I find it vaguely disturbing that you can find very little good fics that don't have any graphic sex scenes and even more disturbing the fact that they have the two boys jumping down each other's pants within three seconds of admitting their feelings. So, I decided I would be different! ^_^ (That, and I would feel extremely uncomfortable writing something like that.)  
Kati: Sorry, peeps, but that's the way it's going to be!  
  
DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: Cussing, shonen-ai (meaning boy loves boy but no graphic sex), war (maybe if there were more warnings about war, people wouldn't make it as often)  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Heero or Duo but I do own the girls who help them on their way and, since they are based on my friends, please don't steal them... because they really aren't all that great! *sad laugh*  
  
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If You Could: The Awakening  
  
"This was what an angel died for--for the chance to change fate, to spare a single child a lifetime of war and pain. And even though he'd failed, I knew he never regretted trying" -Rose Argent; Rain (GW)  
  
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AUTHOR'S NOTES:   
1) Memories are designated by roses. Ex: @~~~ Once upon... the end. ~~~@   
2) I don't really care for using Japanese, simply 'cause I don't like explaining it, but Heero will use Japanese off and on throughout the fic. You'll notice it's mostly when he's surprised or just answers without thinking.  
3) Duo doesn't know Japanese. Not at all. From hanging out with Heero he understands what 'nani' and 'hai' and 'iie' mean, but that's about it.  
4) Relena does know a little amount of Japanese; as the daughter of a foreign dignatary, she would also need to know the customs of other cultures and what is considered okay and a small amount of different langauges. Thus she would know what to call Heero and such...  
  
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"Guys! C'mere, I think he's waking up!" the voice sounded as though it were coming from a long way away. He opened his eyes, only to close them again in pain as sharp, bright light stabbed and made the pounding in his head increase. "Turns the lights down!" When he opened them again the light was gone and he was looking into light blue-green eyes framed by silver-gold hair that fell to her waist. "Daijoubu?" she asked, her full lips smiling softly, and part of his mind realized that she wasn't speaking the same language as before, while the other part understood it to mean: 'Are you alright?'.  
  
He opened his mouth but found that his throat, dry and cottony feeling, wouldn't produce any sound. Immediately a strong arm was placed beneath his back and lifted him up. He turned his head slowly, mindful of the pounding in his temples, to be confronted by eyes that were a startling green-gold, framed by a head of dark brown hair that was pulled into a ponytail, pink streaks (?!) making her hair look darker than it was. He turned his head back as a glass was pressed into his hand and stared at the woman who had done so. She was short, at least a head shorter than the other two girls, and her hair was a brown, maybe even a dark blonde, with the tips dyed a dark blue and cut an inch above her shoulder. Her darkly fringed brown eyes smiled warmly up at him, and almost seemed blue around the pupils.  
  
"Don't worry, you're safe here," Brown-Eyes said, in English, before walking back to the laptop on the table and beginning to type.  
  
A frown appeared on his lips as something was called forth from the dark recesses of his mind.  
  
@~~~ Silent… silent except for the click of keys from a laptop.   
Then, suddenly, running footsteps and a bang as the door is slammed open. Surprise. Pushes gun away.  
Glares.  
Laughs.  
Glares again. Goes back to work on laptop.  
Glares. "You know," the boy says, hand on hips, "You've got to get away from that damn computer at least ONCE in this millennia and, by God, if you won't do it yourself, I will!"  
Jerks hands back as laptop is slammed down.  
"Now get up! We're going to the movies with the rest of the guys because, hey, if Cat can get Tro to come with then I sure as hell can get you too!"  
Looks up in surprise as a warm, soft hand grabs wrist, pulling him out of the chair. A glimpse of brown hair with gold highlights framing fleeting violet eyes… and then… ~~~@  
  
The image disappeared to be replaced by the blue-eyed girl again. "Are you okay?" she asked again, this time in English, concern showing in her eyes.  
  
"I-I can't remember who I am…" he whispered, watching as the girl's exchanged surprised but sad looks, as though this confirmed their worst fears.   
  
"We're not too sure who you are either," the one holding him up said, and then propped up pillows against the headboards before leaning him back against it. "Tia-chan, you did say that he bumped his head, right?" Green-Eyes looked up at Brown-Eyes who had stepped away and back toward him.  
  
"Yeah…" 'Tia-chan', pushing a stray bit of dark blond hair out of her eyes, frowned pensively, looking at him. "Sir, my name is Hestia Rhea, this is Artemis Leto, she's a senator," Hestia said, motioning to the blond. "And this is Athena Parthenos, Arte-chan's bodyguard." He knew there was something strange about their names but he couldn't quite place is finger on it. Hestia suddenly brought her hand up, brushing some hair off his forehead, and he tried not to flinch as her fingers stroked against an extremely sore part on his forehead. "You've got a rather nasty bump there... this is probably the reason behind your memory loss. Can you remember what your name is?"  
  
He closed his eyes and his brow wrinkled as he tried to part the foggy curtain that seemed to separate his memories from the rest of his mind. @~~~ "Lowe Odin desu," a strong, warm hand was laid on his shoulder in a father-like gesture as the voice behind him continued. "Lowe Odin, Jr., o goshokai shimasu, watashi no musuko." ' My name is Odin Lowe. Allow me to introduce to you Odin Lowe, Jr., my son.' ~~~@  
  
"Lowe Odin, Jr." Odin said, the name felt right to his mind but strange on his tongue.   
  
"Well, Odin-san," Artemis said, smiling warmly. "Do you remember anything else?"  
  
Odin strained to remember something, anything else, but the curtain didn't want to part this time, and remained closed, trapping inside the memories of his past and the key to his future.  
  
"Odin-san, we can't really help you much. We could find no identification on you, and we can't get past any of the password protected things on your-" Hestia paused a moment, looking at Artemis.  
  
Artemis sighed and, at the questioning look Odin sent her way, replied, "The only thing we know about you is that... well... you're a Gundam pilot…" Artemis trailed off, a hopeful look on her face as she look at his face. Odin closed his eyes as he felt something begin to surface from the black pool of his mind but, faster than he could blink, something pushed it back down, as though not wanting it to surface.   
  
Odin opened his eyes in surprise and looked at Hestia, "Sore we okashi…" That's strange… "I-I almost had something, but it felt as though something pushed it back down."   
  
Hestia sighed, a sad smile crossing her face. "So young…" she murmured. "Frankly, to tell you the truth, I'm not surprised. You more than likely have many terrible memories, and apparently some part of your mind knows that and is keeping them from surfacing."  
  
"Will I ever remember?" Odin asked, almost afraid of the answer.  
  
"Maybe..." Hestia said. "You have three things that might happen. One, you could never remember anything from your past but... as you're getting your memories back already, that is highly unlikely. Two, you could get all your memories back. Three, you could get only some memories back, and the memories you'll forget will be the painful ones. I'm sorry, but I'm more likely to think that it will be the third one, as you said something pushed the memory back down. My guess, you'll probably get all your memories back except for the painful ones and, if I may say so, as a gundam pilot, that most likely means that you'll get very few memories back."  
  
Odin sat back, thinking this over, before nodding determinedly. "Will you... will you tell me what a gundam is?"  
  
"Yes..." Artemis paused and looked at Hestia questioningly who nodded, causing Artemis to smile. "But, better yet, I can show you. Ena-chan?"  
  
Athena smiled and, wrapping a strong arm around Odin's waist, helped him out of bed. Odin was surprised to find that, despite the fact that he had probably been in bed for a long period of time, his legs were only a little wobbly. "How long was I asleep?" he asked, brushing some hair out of his eyes.  
  
"Only a week..." Hestia said, as Odin wrapped an arm around Athena's broad shoulder. "Normally it would have taken at least two or three weeks for your body to heal, but you body is... different... you've had something done with your body that speeds up the healing process."  
  
Odin's mouth opened in a silent "Oh" as he looked at Hestia. Suddenly he stopped, looking past Athena. Artemis and Hestia turned to see what he was looking at and saw that he was staring in the mirror. "Don't you even remember what you look like?" Artemis asked and, at the shake of his head, motioned Athena to lead him to the mirror.   
  
Odin stood looking at himself for a long moment, almost as though he was sizing himself up. He was taller than Hestia by at least a head, but only taller than Artemis by a few inches, making Athena only a few inches taller than him. Dark blue-gray eyes, ones that reminded him of the sky before a storm, stared back under dark brown bangs from the bottom of a messy head of hair. His body was almost sickly thin but his arms and legs betrayed the looker for, somehow Odin knew, they were extremely strong. He was wearing just a plain, skin tight, black spandex biker shorts. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. Really, who had picked these out for him? As though reading his thoughts, Athena said, "You were in those shorts when we found you, along with that green tank top." She nodded toward a green tank top that was thrown on the back of the chair. "I sure hope that you were forced into that outfit because, if you weren't, we're going to have to kill you out of mercy for the rest of the world. I mean, we can't let someone with that bad of taste wonder around the world."  
  
Odin laughed but stopped, surprised to find that the sound was one that seemed somehow… new to his ears. It wasn't like he hadn't heard it before; it was more like he hadn't heard the real thing in a long time.  
  
"What's wrong?" Athena asked, her brow wrinkling in confusion.  
  
"Kami-sama! My-my laughter sounds weird, as though I haven't heard it in a long time…!" Odin said in surprise, looking at them.  
  
"Well…" Artemis trailed off, looking thoughtful, "You're face, even now, isn't very emotional. I think that you're used to hiding your emotion, Odin-san… you must not have had a reason to laugh, not that I could condemn you for that. With the life you've probably led, it wouldn't be-unexpected."   
  
There was a long silence, where the women didn't know what to say to him and Odin didn't know what to think. Hestia interrupted the silence, "So… you want to see your gundam? It's still pretty bashed up from the fight you were in and we could only fix so much because we didn't know much about it. Your programs were password protected and had a code on them that, if they were entered in wrong once, the whole thing would self-destruct, so we decided to wait until you were awake."  
  
Odin nodded and they continued walking. They walked down a long flight of stairs, apparently Odin had been kept in the attic, and even after they got to the main part the continued to go down. Past the basement, past the cellar, past the wine cellar, and even deeper until Odin thought that they were going to keep walking forever, and then they came to large door had a huge hole through it. Artemis smiled and stuck her hand in there, seeming to twist and turn certain things, before pulling her hand out triumphantly. Odin stared at her, for nothing was happening, and then looked at the door… and then back at her… and then at the door… and this time the door slowly began to shake and rose slowly until there was a gap enough so that they could walk through. As they went in Odin's brow furrowed as he noticed that there was no other door on the side, just a wall. He was just about to ask Hestia or Artemis what was happening when the door slammed shut behind them, leaving them in pitch black.  
  
"Odin-san, daijoubu," Athena whispered, feeling him tense up in the dark beside her. Then she stepped away from him and he suddenly felt very alone.  
  
Before he could say anything Athena cried out, in a language completely foreign to him. "Asi!" Suddenly, a crack of light appeared at the floor and he saw Athena take her right hand away from the wall, where she had apparently punched it. This time, there was a simply a small keypad on the floor filled with letters. Hestia held him back when he started to walk toward it and shook her head silently.   
  
Then she stepped toward it and began to dance, ballet jumps and leaps, landing on letters in a perfectly trained dance. In the end she landed on the large enter key drawn on the ground and did a graceful bow, smiling.  
  
"We do this," Artemis explained, walking through the closing door and standing in the room, which was now loosing its light, "So that no one else may come in here. Now we have but one last test, please be quiet." Without another word she walked up to her friends, who were standing in the middle of the room, and together they sang. It was a strange language that Odin didn't recognize but it had a lullaby like quality.   
  
Odin felt himself falling into a trance-like state, as the words, in no alphabet he had ever seen, ran across the stones. His mind began drifting off into the mists where his memories had once been…  
  
@~~~ Pain! A moan of pain… whose is it? Mine…?  
"Shh… 'Ro… it's okay… just hold still…"  
A warm hand on a cold shoulder. Stills, though it still hurts… then blackness…  
" 'Ro… c'mon, wake up…"  
A warm hand holding a cold one. Warmth…  
"You've gotta wake up!"  
Struggling… So much pain… Then light… and an angel with the face of a pixie, bright violet eyes, a slightly upturned nose, and full lips…  
" 'Ro!"  
Warmth… warmth as strong but gentle arms wrapped around his waist. For a minute… just a minute…   
Pushed roughly away.  
… Glare.  
Nervous laugh. Waist-length braid tugged at and brought to full lips. "Sorry… but you've been out for a day and a half and I was starting to worry."  
"…"  
"…"  
Closes eyes. "Gomen nasai… Thanks for staying with me…" Falling asleep…  
Surprise. And then, "I'll always stay with you… as long as you don't ask me to leave…"  
Dreaming… must be dreaming… but a such a wonderful dream… ~~~@  
  
The singing stopped, suddenly and abruptly, making Odin wonder how long he'd been standing there, lost in the memory. The darkness cleared from his vision and he found that all three girls were looking at him. "What did you see?" Artemis asked, staring at him with a strange look in her eyes, and Odin vaguely wondered how she knew he had remembered something.  
  
"I… was hurt and… someone was watching over me while I was sleeping. It was strange because he was really happy when I woke up… and…" Odin paused trying to think. "He… he kept calling me 'Ro and… I think he said something at the end but…" His eyebrows drew together as he tried to remember what the beautiful boy had said but it was like from a dream he couldn't remember and he could only catch small slivers of the cloudy memory even now.  
  
"You can't remember," Hestia said, giggling just the tiniest bit. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed that Athena and Artemis exchanged quick glances before turning back to him.  
  
"Iie… hai… well… I don't think I remembered when I had my memory either…" Odin frowned slightly, his mouth turning down just the slightest.   
  
The three girls looked at each other and then shrugged, before motioning to the now open wall. He stared at them and then stepped forward, looking around the edge of the door/wall, his eyes widening at what he saw before him. There, surrounded by machines that had obviously been taken apart for its own use, was a huge machine in a shape of a man. Slightly glowing eyes glared down, as though looking at him, condemning him, and Odin felt like recoiling in disgust.  
  
He felt conflicted emotions about the strange machine in front of him. There was one part of him that loved the machine as a partner, respected its power, and wondered at its marvel. The larger part shivered inside him at the sight of the thing, a whisper of pain and death trailing its fingers down his spine. Slowly, hesitantly, he walked forward until he was standing in front of the thing's foot and then, with trembling fingers, he reached out and lightly brushed his fingertips against the cool gundanium… Instantly feelings of hatred, sadness, and pain assailed his senses, crushing his breath, and his vision began to go black. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Athena step forward to catch him but, as though she could travel faster than anyone he knew, Artemis was there beside him, cradling him so gently he thought that perhaps she was made of clouds… and then all thought ceased…  
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Kati: So, what'd you all think?   
Petra: I hope you all like Arte-chan, she's based on a very good friend of mine. So are all the women, actually. ^_^ Arte-chan's a really likable person in real life and I hope I got her right. Mari-chan, who it's based off of, will be reading it with the rest of you! ^_^ Hope you liked it, Mari-chan!!! Love ya, grl! And love all of you readers, too!   
Kati: You know what to do and, if you don't, READ AND REVIEW...   
Petra: Please...   
Kati: Pretty please...   
Petra: With a cherry on top...  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	2. What They're Fighting For

Petra: I decided to go ahead and post this since it's an incredibly small chapter. Don't expect much else from me for a while, probably not even until Jan. 2 becuase I will be visiting my brother and he's really touchy about when I get on the internet and what I do. But since he likes the idea of Duo and Heero as a couple, I might be able to persaude him! ^_- Luv you, Jos! I know you'll be reading this so... *blows kisses* My brother's the greatest everyone!  
  
DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: War, cussing, shonen-ai  
DISCLAIMER: No own. Except women. Don't write about women. Feel free to write lots of GW fics. Especially shonen-ai fics. Lots and lots of 1x2 fics!  
  
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If You Could: What They're Fighting For  
  
"But now all I feel is a shiver of empty fire running down my spine as your eyes cross mine, piercing and intense and colored with my dreams, before the space of a heartbeat rushes by like a thundering breath, and you turn away, everything else fluttering back into place in the wake of your lingering gaze." -Rhysenn; Someday (HP)  
  
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When Odin awoke he was sure that he had relived more memories in his dreams, but they had been horrible ones, full of pain to him and pain he inflicted on others… and then, worst of all, had been a horrible hidden guilt for all the people he had killed. Oh, he remember partially what a gundam pilot was, he'd dreamed of a conversation with the violet-eyed one again, this time about what they stood for and what they fought for…  
  
@~~~ Rustle of bed sheets as humming increased, violet eyes continuing to read book.  
Typing on laptop but not really, instead listening to boy's surprisingly good voice humming. Surprise. The boy is now in sitting right before his eyes.  
"Yo, 'Ro…"  
Glare at nickname.  
Mischievous/fake innocent/puzzled look. "What? Don't you like your new nick name?"  
"…"  
"I'll take that as 'I love it and want you to use it all the time'… now… where was I?"  
Kiss or kill? Maybe just a hard surface to bang head against would work.  
"Oh yeah!" Uncomfortable pause. " 'Ro… um… what do you fight for?"  
Surprise. Eyes showing it, though not face. "Nani?" What?  
"Well… you fight for the colonies right?"   
Nod.  
"Don't you… fight for anything else…?"  
Confused look in eyes.  
"I mean… if you fight for peace and all that you have to believe in things like… family and lo-peace." A little flustered.  
Confused still. "What do you fight for?"  
More flustered. "I… me…? I… fight so that no other kid has to go through what I went through… I fight for family…" Whispers. "And… love…"  
"…"  
"…"  
"I guess I fight so that no one will have to go through what I went through too…"   
"… That it?"  
Confused yet again. "What else would I fight for?"  
Flustered. "What about family?"  
"I never had it, so I don't think I can fight for it…"  
Looks away. "What… what about… love?"  
"Ai?" Surprised. Corrects himself. "Love?"  
"Yeah… love…"  
"Like family, I've never had it…"  
Surprised. "What about Relena?"  
Glare. "What about 'Relena'?"  
Nervous. "Doncha love her?"  
Flatly. "Iie."  
Perks up. "Really?"  
"Hai."  
"You're not just lying?"  
"Iie."  
Hugs Odin.   
Surprised.  
Chuckles nervously and draws away. "Sorry… but thanks…"  
"What for?"  
"Everything…" Walks back to bed.  
Watches for a while, a wistful look in eyes, as he lets feelings surface. Pushes feelings down and turns back to laptop. Can't help it. Remembers hug. Whispers, "Ai…?" ~~~@  
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: I really like how this part turned out, actually. I think it's very cute. I like how I did the memories but it was really hard to do and still have it make sense.  
Kati: If you haven't figured it out by now, every time it's a new line, it switched who it's talking about.   
Petra: -_-; Actually... I doubt anyone's figured it out. Life is funny, ain't it? You know, it'll be a sad, sad world where the only one's fighting for freedom are fifteen year olds who are all very messed up. Like I said, if I could, I would set them all free. (Yes, I know it's not real, but it's still very sad.)  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	3. Love is Love

Petra: Originally, there was a very whiny, grouchy authors note.  
Kati: We cringe looking back at them now.  
Petra: Yep! So, we deleted them. Have fun reading!  
  
DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: Love is love, people. If you're too biased, then leave.   
DISCLAIMER: No own Gundam Wing. *cries*  
  
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If You Could: Love is Love  
  
"Man can fly into space and he can cure illnesses he never thought he'd overcome, but he can't forgive homosexuality." -Erin Cayce; Curing Homosexuality (GW)  
  
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Odin awoke again in his bedroom and stared at the ceiling for a long moment, the ceiling of the room that had been his for a month… but he knew had to go. He couldn't stay here forever and, as he let his mind wander, he suddenly remembered what he had learned in his sleep.   
  
"Maxwell Duo…" he softly whispered the name of the boy he had been dreaming about for the past month, and found that the name seemed to fit the boy. "Duo-kun…" He frowned slightly, it didn't sound right… A dangerous idea came to his mind and, he knew he shouldn't, but since when did he care if something was dangerous. "Duo-koi… koibito…" It sounded so right, calling this strange dream-boy his love and lover, and Odin wondered why he hadn't thought of it before… 'Because you were denying it,' a small voice reminded him and Odin turned on his stomach, staring unseeingly ahead, remembering when he had first discovered that his feelings for Duo were more than friendly.  
  
He had been talking to Artemis, she was the easiest to talk to out of the group he'd found, and he had been telling her about what he remembered so far. He found that, though in most of his memories he didn't talk much and, in fact, hated it, now he loved talking with people and loved the idea that they were listening to him. So he was talking with Artemis and telling her his memories. She had been watching him differently that day, almost the same look as when they'd finished singing that first day; searchingly, almost as though she wanted to peer into his very soul. When he was done he stared at her a moment, a quizzical expression on his much more expressive face.   
  
"Why are you looking at me like that, Arte-chan?" She had looked at him a moment more and then looked at the ground, before looking back up at him.  
  
"Odin-kun, do you have any memory before you met this violet-eyed person or of you or any of the pilots together without him?" Odin looked at her in surprise. He had never noticed that before but... it was true, he didn't have any memories of any of the other pilots and him alone. The few memories he had of the other pilots, the violet-eyed boy had been there.  
  
"Well, I have the one where I remembered my name, of someone, I think my father, introducing me but other than that, no. Why?" Odin said thoughtfully.  
  
Artemis stared at him a moment, staring as though she herself would part the curtain that blocked his memory and then sighed, as though having had come to a hard decision. "Odin-kun, I'm going to ask you something and I want you to reply to me as open-mindedly and honestly as you can. Can you do that?" He had nodded his head, wondering what she was going to ask. She took a deep breath and then said, "Do you think you might be in love with this violet-eyed youth?"  
  
He stared at her in shock, but there was no doubt in his mind that it was true, it felt so right and the word ran through his body like a string that had just been struck. "Demo… Takaga…" But… It's only… "I'm a boy, he's a boy…?" He looked at Artemis pleadingly.  
  
She put a hand on his shoulder and smiled so sweetly it shocked him almost to tears. "Odin-kun, love can get past time and place and hatred and anything else that might be thrown in its path. Why should gender be any different?"   
  
"Demo… the bible…" He had read the bible in one night, found it incredibly fascinating for understanding the people around him, and had done tons of research on it.  
  
"No!" The vehemence and anger in the words almost made him jump away from Artemis in surprise. "PEOPLE say that it's wrong, nowhere in the bible does it say that! And if it does, I tell you right now, it is terribly wrong and it is blasphemy against the God I know and love!" She took a deep breath and seemed to consciously calm herself down. Frankly, he was surprised at how she acted, she was usually extremely calm and composed, unlike Hestia who usually had major mood-swings. "Listen, you know you love him, I know you love him… but be careful in front of Hestia, she says she understands, but I highly doubt she does…" She looked his eyes, saw the doubt, and then simply said, "If you ever start to doubt your love, remember: God loves you, and God would NEVER condemn you for loving anyone else… even if it's a he."  
  
"How can you be so sure?" he asked, half of his mind picking up on the fact that Artemis was saying was being careful not to use 'he' or 'she'.   
  
"Because, I believe that God loves me, that God loves everyone, that there is no such thing as hell, only heaven and rebirth, because God understands that sometimes we do things we regret. God never gives up on us, you know that… but you have to find God yourself… Start looking deep inside, deeper than you thought possible, and even deeper still. Keep looking, until you know, without a doubt, what you believe in." For a moment she looked so unlike the woman he had come to know and love that he was shocked.  
  
Artemis smiled and then drew him into a tight hug. "Odin-kun, love, I love you… and if I can love you then so can whatever God or Goddess or whatever deity you believe in."  
  
Odin stared at Artemis for a long moment and then asked, "And what if you don't know what to believe in? What if you don't believe in any kind of stuff like that?"  
  
Artemis stared at him, slightly surprised at the fact that he was so serious and then smiled, a strange smile that was half happy, half sad. "Though it is sad to say so, that is the best way for you to get to know exactly what you believe in, because in that type of situation, you have no choice but to believe in yourself. A very wise actress, far behind your time, named Sandra Bullock, once said, 'And if you find your soulmate, it's because you've gotten to a place where you've figured out what your soul it.' I believe the same is true for God, also." She kissed him gently on the forehead, like a mother, and Odin felt a flash of warmth and belonging like he had never felt before. He stared at her in shock and she smiled at him and for a moment she seemed to glow with an inner light. Her hair moved in an unseen wind and her eyes suddenly seemed to a reflect a forest that was not there. "There is more to you than meets the eyes, Odin-kun, and I'm sure that everyone that meets you will love finding out what lies beneath the surface." Odin smiled at her, forgetting the moment when he thought he saw something more, and then started to walk off but, surprisingly Artemis suddenly stopped him. "Also, don't beat yourself up about it. You don't even know if he's the One. You're only fifteen, you have your whole life. You can't be sure that he's the one you want to spend your life with…" Odin nodded once, showing he understood, before walking away, Artemis' clear blue-green eyes watched him disappear and, for a minute, her eyes changed and one could almost see a forest reflected in their depths…  
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: I hope that you enjoyed this part.  
Kati: Thanks to the people who did take the five seconds *glares at people who didn't review* to review:  
  
ASAMI: ^_^ Thankie, thankie, thankie! Sadly, Duo and Heero haven't met yet... *giggle* Just wait... and it won't be that long of a wait either.   
CJ: Thanks for the constructive critism. I was really glad to recieve it becuase I don't get it very often and I'm always looking for ways to improve, especially since I dream of one day writing a story that I can publish. And you're right, -_-; which is quite sad but it's been two years since I lived there and, with all the homework and the fact that it was a late night, I'm sorry that I made a mistake. I put it down as if Heero were introducing a third person... -_-; There is no way to explain how embaressed I feel at the moment... I will go back and correct it at once. Arigato gozaimasu! (Trust me, Jos won't stop remind me of it!)  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	4. Left Behind

Petra: Yadda, yadda, yadda, read and review.   
Kati: Yadda, yadda, yadda, a monkey ate my shoe...   
Petra: Sorry, just seeing if you were paying attention. Plus, it rhymed! Yes, I'm happy now! I found a place where I can get Two-mix CDs, of course I am! Now, for a quick note on the girls. Aretmis is based on a very good friend of mine. Her name's Mari (Rose Marie Ledam). She's the one who I quote at the bottom of each story; she's very insightful into emtions and she's one of my very good friends. Athena is a sorta-friend of mine, more a friend of Mari/Aretmis' though. Kati/Athena's rather aggresive but she is an extremely good friend of mine. Hestia is an ex-friends of Mari's that she finally got the courage to stop being friends with. I really didn't like that girl but, at the time, she was a friend of Mari's and I felt obligated. Hestia/Kit was an abusive friend who, is in fact, not anything like the one in the story. Hebe, who you will meet in this one, is a very perky girl based on my good friend Krys. Krys/Hebe is always happy and people can't help but find themselve happy when they're around her. Aphrodite is based on a friend of Mari's who's been engaged for, I believe its a year and half now, dating him for two. Mari doesn't really know how she feels about Fri/Aphrodite's relationship. Anyways, I want you all to read and, of course, review. Remember what I talked about before... *looks stern* ... *tries to anyway*  
  
DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: Shonen-ai (nothing detailed)  
DISCLAIMER: Trust me, if I owned Gundam Wing there would be none of this "are they" or "aren't they" crap. EVERYONE would know!  
  
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If You Could: Left Behind  
  
"Dont' be afraid your life will end. Be afraid that it will never begin." -Grave Hansen  
  
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Artemis watched the young man go off to think and sighed to herself. "What's gonna happen to him, Di-chan? There's so much in the world going against them at the moment; so much that could go wrong…"   
  
A gentle hand on her shoulder made Artemis turn around. Greek-style clothes of the deepest red and palest pink fell in folds around the woman's feet, and her eyes sparkled with hidden pain mixed with joy. "Arte-chan, everything will work out. Have not the Fates already told his tale? No one can change the Fates, not even Zeus-baka when he was in power, and even now none of the Goddesses who are left."   
  
Artemis brushed some hair behind her ear and sighed. "I know… I had to tell him that, didn't I? Tell him that Duo might not be the One, even though I know that they are meant to be together? It's hard, I'll admit it, but I wish I hadn't had to have told him such a lie."  
  
Aphrodite sighed and sat beside her friend, the raven-colored hair falling a little past her shoulder as she brushed it back over her shoulder, the two small braids a bright yellow that fell to her waist contrasting sharply with her clothes. Her deep brown-gold eyes watched as her own clothes shimmered from the Greek-style it had been to jean-shorts and a dark, red tank top. "You're going to have to leave him soon, push him out of the nest. He can't stay here forever."  
  
Artemis leaned her head back, closing her eyes. "I know… I shouldn't even have stayed this long. Tia-chan keeps telling me so but…" she turned to her friend. "I so want to meet this Duo person and I want to be there to help Heero, or should I say Odin, through all his troubles." She hugged her waist tightly, a small liquid drop forming at the corner of her eye. "These past months… they've been great… I've been doing something. I don't want to go back to just watching! I hate the rule that says we can't interfere!" A deep breath and then Artemis stood up. "Well, rules are made to be broken and this one is long past due!"  
  
Aphrodite stared at her friend in shock. "But… Arte-chan, you can't do that…"  
  
"Why?" Artemis asked, hands on hips.  
  
Aphrodite couldn't answer and Artemis smiled. "The Fates may map out our lives for us, but we are the ones who decide the roads to get there. Tia-chan and Ena-chan won't like it but they can do whatever the hell they want to do, with or without me." Artemis held out her hand to her friend. "What do you think?"  
  
Aphrodite stared at the offered hand for a moment and then smiled, an almost evil smile, before taking it, letting herself be pulled up. "I think you're right. That was a rule made a long time ago and, back then, it had good reason to be made. But now… Yes, I believe its time." They shared a smile and then, both were gone, the only thing left the smell of moonlit roses and shady vanilla.   
  
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Odin stared around the empty apartment, confusion and hurt warring in his eyes. He had woken to find the apartment strangely quiet and eerily still. He'd walked downstairs and found that almost everything personal in the apartment had been cleared away. The only two items left were a framed photo of the four of them, laughing before a fountain, and a pendant held on a silver chain. The pendant was a sword with a dragon curled around and, right near the point, a circled five-pointed star was clasped in one of the dragon's talons. He stared at it a moment and then, quickly put it on, eyes scanning the room for anything else out of place.   
  
Noticing an envelope laying on the dining room table, he strode quickly across the room and opened the note. "Dear Odin-kun," he read aloud, "Sorry we had to leave on such short notice but something very important came up very quickly. It came right after you went to sleep and, we thought of waking you up, but knew that you would understand if we didn't. You can stay in the apartment for another week and then the payment time runs out. We've arranged for a small shuttle, which already has your gundam in it, to carry you from here to Earth, where we believe your fellow pilots to be staying at the moment. We have also arranged for you to have an apartment on the outskirts of China. We believe your partners to be some where around this area and are sorry that we cannot further aid you in this search. If you get in any trouble, let us know and we will come get you out of it or, if you can't get a message to us, touch your pendant, whisper my name, and then I'll be there, I promise. I also just wanted to say that I enjoyed our time together and will treasure it in my memories. I hope that you and Duo-kun work out and will expect to meet him once I have the time to visit. I cannot speak for Ena-chan and Tia-chan, but I know that I have grown to care greatly for you and will miss you greatly. I will not say good-bye, for I know that I will see you again. Love always, Arte-chan. P.S. Look for people going out of their way to help you. They're probably our friends."   
  
Odin sighed and sat at the table, chin resting in hands as he thought about what to do next. He didn't really want to stay here, it would be lonely at the least, depressing at the most. His mind made up, Odin stood up and packed. As he stood in the doorway to the huge apartment, memories flooding his mind and scenes playing in the back of his eyes, he laughed, his reflection across the room laughing back, and for the first time, it felt and looked right.  
  
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Odin sat at the small café table and watched the people go by, barely noticing that many of the women were staring at him in appreciative ways. His mind was on a certain braided violet-eyed young boy who had long ago, before he could remember, captured his heart and soul. He sighed and stared dazedly off into space, thinking about the way those violet eyes would light up and you could almost swear you saw flecks of deep blue in them. A throat loudly clearing itself made Odin look up in surprise, the picture of Duo he had formed in the back of his mind slowly fading. A young woman stared at him, obviously waiting for him to say something, anything. Her hair was cut short, almost boyishly, curled charmingly around her face and was a dark brown with startling white-blonde streaks in it. Over her brown eyes, with specks of green reflecting the light, one fine eyebrow arched upward, in obvious question.  
  
"Hai?" Odin prompted, confused by the way she was looking at him, as though she couldn't decide whether or not she liked him.   
  
"Hmm… not as cute as I thought… and you don't look gay either, but they never do, do they?" she murmured almost to herself as she sat down, long tan legs crossing as she continued to peer at him. "Well… I guess you can't be all bad if Arte-chan likes you, huh?"  
  
That caught his attention. "You're a friend of Arte-chan?" he asked, barely containing the excitement from his voice. He hadn't see the woman in two months, but occasionally he would wake up to find a new shirt or a piece of jewelry from her lying in his mailbox and even some letters. He still hadn't seen her and he missed her terribly, missed being able to tell her everything that was on his mind so, instead, he wrote it all down every night and then, the next afternoon when he arrived home from whatever he had been doing, the letters were always gone  
  
"Yeah, we go way back," the woman smiled and Odin couldn't help but smile back. "You look different though, you haven't been cutting your hair and you're a lot more open." Odin fingered his hair self-consciously, which had grown long enough to an inch past his shoulder, long enough that he could tie it back in a very small, lose ponytail.  
  
"I was gonna get it cut… and then I just got so busy… I kinda like it now," he said, taking a sip from the water in front of him.   
  
"It's not just that, though…" she leaned back in her seat and lifted a drink (now where did she get that?) to her lips. "It's the way you carry yourself too. You walk different and the way you move is more… I don't know… softer. You're changing, Odin-kun…" Odin stared at her a moment. How had she known?  
  
Odin was suddenly worried. "For the good or for the bad?"  
  
"Good, and that's one thing that I can guarantee you." Her gaze flickered to the left suddenly and then back to him. "I'm Hebe Juno." Her gaze flickered back to the left and, this time when she looked back at him she winked. What…?  
  
He turned to the left and felt his eyes widen, his heart stop, and whatever he was about to say die before it ever left his mouth. Duo… The other boy was standing at a vending machine across the street. His hair was still pulled into that waist-length braid and, though you couldn't seem them from this far away, Odin knew his eyes were still that violet tinted just slightly toward blue. "Koibito…" he whispered and started to stand, only to stop in surprise as a cool hand is placed on top of his.   
  
"Maybe you shouldn't talk to him just yet, that's gotta be a big shock 'cause he doesn't know if you're dead, or alive, or what," Hebe said as he looked down at the smaller woman. "And are you sure you're ready to confront him… I mean, why don't you follow him back to the safe house? It'll give you a chance to brush up on your skills and you can decide what you're going to do…"  
  
Odin looked at her for a minute, weighing her words in his mind and then nodded, once, deliberately, and put a five on the table, before standing up and silently beginning to follow the boy.  
  
"Wow… his face was pretty funny…" a voice near Hebe's ear made her start and she smacked Artemis who now sat beside her.   
  
"For Goddess's sake, what in Hades did I tell you about sneaking up on me like that, Arte-chan!" Hebe said, pouting slightly.  
  
"To do it as often as possible?" Artemis asked, trying to look innocent.   
  
"I swear to Goddess, if you were any more like Duo you'd be his twin sister," her eyes moved to watch the American just as he walked around the corner of a building. "Cute, though, very, very cute…"  
  
"Heero is cute too, when he smiles," Artemis commented, causing Hebe to scowl at her.   
  
Artemis sighed and Hebe, knowing quite suddenly what her friend was thinking about, sighed to and would have sweat-dropped were it possible. "You're thinking about Iris-chan, aren't you?" Hebe asked and Artemis nodded. "So, when are you going to actually introduce her to Heero?"  
  
Artemis laughed slightly. "Sometime when Duo is not around, Heero is in a calm mood, and I have the strength to drag her back." She propped her elbows on the table, her face falling in her hands. "What did I do to deserve this…. WHAT!?"  
  
"You're the friendliest and extremely bossy," Hebe stated, taking great joy in tormenting her friend who sobbed dramatically before disappearing, leaving only the smell of vanilla behind. Hebe rolled her eyes, looked at Heero who was now disappearing around the distant corner and then disappeared too, the smell of raspberries wafting in the afternoon breeze.  
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Kati: Hey, peeps. So, what'd you think?   
Petra: Have you figured out who and/or what Artemis and the others really are?   
Kati: I bet you haven't... don't worry, you'll figure it out... hopefully... ^_-   
Petra: I'm going to try to start getting things out every Thrusday or Friday but no promises. It'll just matter on what's going on with me that week. Finals is next week after all. Love you all, hugs and kisses, read and review. ^_^   
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	5. Presenting Heero Yuy!

Petra: Okay, guys, I'm trying to get into the habit of getting this out on Thursdays. That way, if I can't, then there's always Friday. However, it's not working as well as I hoped. -_-; Life is strange, ne? Anways, I'm doing pretty good, all in all, considering that it's totally freezing in this library. I mean, I'm shivering. I've got more stories coming out focusing on Heero and Duo; mostly on their o' so interesting relationship.   
Kati: One is a fusion with Oh My Goddess and Gundam Wing (very proud of it) and another is about Duo leaving Heero and starting a new life (this is one is going very well, also.)   
Petra: Hopefully, I'll put them up someday...  
  
DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: Cussing, shonen-ai, Relena, guns shooting but not hitting anything (methinks Duo needs to start practicing more.)  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gundam Wing. However, I do own the souls of my friends and that's why they're in this story without permission. ^_^  
  
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If You Could: Presenting... Heero Yuy!  
  
"You must have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by; but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by." -James Matthew Barrie  
  
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Odin was surprised that Duo hadn't spotted him yet and couldn't help but feel mildly pleased with himself. He'd also thought of another reason why it was a good thing that he hadn't just ran up and confronted Duo and that was the fact that he was different now than he been… yes, very different.   
  
He watched as his friend/love knocked on the door once before striding in and, making a note on that, tucked it away for use later, before leaning his head back to look at the building in front of him. It was definitely not one of the better places they had stayed at; not that he had much to go on. It was an old, run-down hotel that was out of business and had the windows all boarded up. The door as well, probably, until Duo and the other pilots had come along. He noted that there were plenty of fire escapes from all the windows and couldn't help but think that it was a potentially dangerous place to be, as OZ could now choose more than one way to get in. At the same time it was also a good choice because no one besides the other pilots knew which rooms had bad floors, and maybe no floors at all, and which held a highly trained pilot.   
  
He turned away from the building, meaning to leave, but at that moment a horrendously pink limousine pulled into view and everything in his system went on red alert. 'Enemy!' he thought, shrinking back into the shadows and pulling his gun out from the back of his jeans where it was being kept. The black t-shirt stretched tight across his chest as he shifted the brown leather jacket off and onto the ground, his mind taking note of where it was so he could come back for it later. His hands gripped his gun surely and he inched closer to the safehouse, still careful to stay in the shadows. Who was this person that made everything in his mind and body scream to get away from? It wasn't fear, at least he didn't believe it was… it was something else.   
  
His gun was trained on the car as it stopped in front of the old motel and it locked instantly on the driver who stepped out of the car to open the door for someone else. Confusion clouded Odin's usually clear gray-blue eyes as he watched a blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl, no more than his age, step out of the car and stare at the building in disgust, before shaking herself and walking to the door. She knocked on it and loudly called out, "Heero-kun?! Heero-kun, are you in there?! If you are, come out right now! This playing as though you're gone isn't funny." Heero… Odin felt his breathing began to shorten as the name rang bells within his mind.   
  
@~~~ "You need a codename." The voice was assured and demanded to be followed.  
"…"  
"You will be called Heero Yuy, from now on, Odin, after the great man who worked for peace." The voice knew Odin, now Heero, would do as he said.   
"Ninmu ryoukai." ~~~@  
  
He blinked himself out of the memory and found that he had almost pulled the trigger of the gun that was still trained on the girl. Hurriedly he put it down, silently shifting nearer so that he could hear what was going on while grabbing his jacket. After five minutes of knocking on the door and loudly calling for Heero to come out, the door was finally yanked open by a glaring Wufei.   
  
Odin/Heero was startled at the sudden appearance of another Gundam pilot and couldn't help but smile at the way Wufei was now yelling at the girl.  
  
"Onna! What do you think you're doing, screaming for Heero so everyone can here you! Kuso!" The 'kuso' came as more than one pair of hands pulled away Wufei and Heero grinned as he heard yelps from not only Wufei's voice, but also those of Quatre, Trowa, and Duo.   
  
Duo suddenly appeared in the door, hair in a messy braid that was beginning to fall out, and his cheeks flushed from the small battle that he had been in. Heero was positive he couldn't be more beautiful. "Sorry, Miss Relena, 'Fei can be really fast when he wants to be." Ah, Relena, he vaguely remembered the girl now. She was the one who wouldn't leave him alone, no wonder his body had suddenly gone on full alert. He chuckled quietly to himself.   
  
"Where is Heero-kun?! I demand to speak to him this moment!" Relena screeched and Heero couldn't help but wonder if she ever broke windows with that screech. Probably not, but she more than likely got very close at some point or another.   
  
Duo's grin faltered and then disappeared completely; hurt, fear, and anger warring in his eyes. "We don't know where he's at… we haven't heard from him in months…" Heero's grin faded and he took a small step forward before he was able to stop himself. Duo's brow crinkled and he looked up, right at Heero, his eyes widening. Heero panicked and immediately darted out of the way as a bullet jammed itself where his leg had been.  
  
"Stop!" Duo cried, pushing a panicking Relena out of the way and attempting to once again shoot Heero who jumped out of the way again.   
  
"Megami-sama, Duo! Would you stop shooting off that damn gun for a minute so that I can stop jumping around like a rabbit?!" Heero shouted, dodging another bullet. Duo froze as the familiar voice drifted to him and his eyes widened.   
  
"Heero…?" he whispered, lowering his gun and then dropping it completely as Heero smirked, pushing hair out of his face as he walked out of the shadows. "Heero!" Duo cried, launching himself at the Japanese boy, and wrapping his lithe arms around Heero.   
  
"Duo…" Heero whispered, immediately wrapping his arms around the other boy. He bent his head down, burying his face in hair that smelled of pears. "Goddess… I missed you, koi."  
  
Duo pushed himself out of Heero's arm, and Heero let him go with only a small bit of resistance. "Koi…? Why the hell you callin' me a fish, 'Ro?" Heero laughed and Duo's eye widened even more.   
  
"Koi, I'm not referring to a fish," his palm moved up to gently brush against the other boy's cheek, and Heero lost himself in violet-pools of confusion. Heero smiled and then turned to the other pilots who were standing in the door watching them. "Quatre-kun! Wufei-kun! Trowa-kun! It's great to see you all!" He smiled broadly and, taking Duo's hand in his own, he dragged the stunned Deathscythe pilot with him to the others. He turned to Relena when he got there and smiled at her, watching as her eyes grew even wider. "Relena-sama, Duo-koi was telling you the truth when he said that he didn't know where I was. Until that moment, they didn't even know that I was alive." He had to force himself not to grin more as Wufei looked at Duo in shock, to see if the American knew what Heero was calling him, and then he looked questioningly at Heero who shook his head once, his Death Glare used in full force. 'Stay out of it,' he mouthed. Wufei got the point. You really had to love that Chinese pilot sometimes.   
  
"Heeeeeeeeeerooooooooooo-kuuuuuuunnnnnnnn!" she cried, launching herself at Heero. He grimaced as her scream caught him right in his unprotected ear and then he rolled his eyes at Duo over his head who, instead of rolling his eyes in the familiar gesture of annoyance, rolled his eyes back as he almost fainted. Only Quatre's hold on Duo kept the taller boy from falling over backwards and Heero, as gently as he could, pushed Relena away from him.   
  
"Relena-sama, if you don't mind, I need to talk to my friends now. I think that you should go back, this is no part of town for you to be in. You stand out too much." He had meant her pink limousine was a little too bright but she took it as a compliment and blushed. Heero tried not to grimace but it wasn't easy.   
  
"But, Heero-kun, I wanted to talk to you," she batted her eyes lashes at the taller Japanese boy but he was undaunted and totally unaffected.   
  
"Relena-sama, I'm sorry, but I really need to talk to the other pilots. I need to explain to them where I've been and what I've been doing, not to mention what happened to me. Also, as flattered as I am that you want to spend time with me, I also have to say that you don't attract me in the least. I prefer brunettes, if you must know." At this point everyone was staring at him as if he'd suddenly sprouted a dragon's tail, breathed ice, and started singing the theme song from the 'Powerpuff Girls'. "So, Relena-sama, if you don't mind, would you please leave me alone, at least for now? If you must follow me around, then would you mind making it later, after I've finished talking with Duo-koi and the rest?"   
  
Since he got no answer from the slack-jawed girl he took that as 'yes' and gently but with strength, pushed Duo into the run-down old motel. He turned back to Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre, and quirked one single dark brow up, something he had learned from Artemis, asking, "Are you guys coming, or what?"   
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: Here it is guys. Heero and Duo have finally met. And nothing happened. ^_^ I'm so evil. I'm sorry I didn't get this out sooner, but I didn't go to school on Friday or the second half of Thursday which was when I was going to put it up. Ah well, whatcha gonna do? *giggle* That reminds me of the cutest song in Escaflowne. *gag* Did NOT like that movie but I plan on buying the series. I have this Anime Encyclopedia that has over 2,000 titles described and it says that Escaflowne, the series, "is the best of them all." *smile* I can't wait to see it! I'm buying it on DVD and, who knows, pretty soon you might find an Escaflowne fanfic from me! ^_^ Mmm... I wanted more reviews but... *sigh* I'm too nice. Ah well...   
Kati: Thanks:  
  
ASAMI: Nah, Heero's not THE Odin. I kinda assumed you would know but, just in case you didn't. Heero isn't Heero's real name. His real name is Odin Lowe, Jr. He was given the codename Heero Yuy. Yeah... wait till you get to the next parts! ^_^  
ABERUNCATE: *hugs back* That's okay. I was just in a pissy mood that day. Normally it wouldn't have bothered me. I think Heero without him memories would be so kawaii! Don't you think?  
SILVER ANGEL: I don't know, will Heero end up with Duo? You'll just have to wait and see, won't you? *wink* Anways, you've become one my favorites. Know why? Becuase no one has every complimented me on my quotes and I love them so much! ^_^ THANKS!!!!! *blows kiss*  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	6. One Dreaming Heart Two Conflicting Souls

Petra: I am currently pissed at the girl who Iris represents but for reasons that I would care not to discuss. I actually like this part of the story. I think it is very well written. I think I captured Relena's character really well and, even though I don't like her, I have to admit that I do respect her for what she is trying to do. I read a story once where Relena said "I cannot be happy if the people I love aren't happy, which is something of a bitch when you love the whole world." I think that line, right there, summons up her personality. So what if she's annoying, she does get better. I don't know, I just can't bring myself to fully hate her becuase it takes so much strength for her to do what she has to do.   
Kati: So, anyway, read and review dammit!   
Petra: *cries* I thought this was a good story!  
  
DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: If you don't get it by now, I'm sorry, but you never will!  
DISCLAIMER: (fill in correct words here) ^_-  
  
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If You Could: One Dreaming Heart; Two Conflicting Souls  
  
"Sighing in defeat he rested his head against the wall, listening to the silent sound of shattered dreams." -SilverLady; Twisted Fates (GW)  
  
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Relena stood on the doorstep at the closed door and tried, as hard as she could, to gain control of her jaw that, not only had lost feeling, but also the ability to stay closed. Had Heero just smiled? At Duo? Not at her? Had he just talked for an entire minute? About her? Leaving him alone? She blinked as she finally noticed the gloved hand that was waving in front of her and turned to look at her driver who was looking puzzled.   
  
"Are you alright, Miss Relena?" he asked, looking with concern at the smaller blonde girl standing in front of him. "You look really pale…"  
  
She shook her head, as though shaking herself out of a daze, and her eyes lost the glassy look that had been in them. "Yes, I'm fine… but I need to talk to Heero-kun…" She raised her hand to knock on the door again, only to find a strong hand clasped around her wrist keeping her from doing so. She turned to the driver, to ask why he had stopped her, only to see him staring in shock at someone behind her.   
  
Relena turned to see a girl with curly golden brown hair pulled into a ponytail that fell to her shoulders, two long purple strands wafting gently on either side of her face to just below her bust, holding her wrist. She 'tsked', her blue eyes hinting just a bit toward violet as they sparkled mischievously. "Relena-san, you mustn't disturb Heero-kun at this point in time, he needs to tell the other pilots what happened and it's very important that he does so now, for a mission is about to come in."  
  
Relena glared at the nerve of this girl standing in front of her and, as her blue eyes glinting dangerously, she yanked her hand out of the other's grip. "And who are you, that you think you can tell me what to do?!"   
  
"I'm Iris," she said, flashing a smile at the younger girl, who sized Iris up with one quick flick of her eyes. The taller girl was wearing a pale violet dress that, as it reached her knees, began to form into a rainbow of colors. The sleeves bared her shoulders and faded to a rainbow as they reached her hands just as the bottom of her dress did. A multi-colored bow trailed from her ponytail to her knees. "Just Iris, I don't really feel like making up a last name."  
  
Relena wrinkled her nose in disgust and then she softened in pity. "I'm sorry, you're an orphan?" she asked, reaching her hand out to the other girl.  
  
Iris scoffed, dodging Relena's hand with as much as ease as a dolphin slips through the waves and with as much disgust as a lady dodging an unwanted suitor. "An orphan?!" Iris laughed out loud, a sound like that reminded Relena of rain, before answering, "Alas! If but I could choose to be, I would, for my family is a disgrace." She sighed dramatically, the back of her hand to her forehead. Relena was not amused.  
  
"Well, Isis-san…"   
  
"Iris!" the brunette interjected, sneering slightly.  
  
"Iris-san, then," Relena said, her voice clearly telling the other girl she could care less. "Well, Iris-san, I don't see how any of this is your concern, now if you will just leave me be," Relena stepped past Iris and raised her hand again. "…I will…"  
  
The blonde never got to finish, her sentence cut off by a pair of hands roughly grabbing her shoulders and turning her around to face a pair of blue eyes, brimming with violet flames and an unseen, unfelt wind making Iris's hair whip around her face angrily. "You have no right to tell me who and what is my business, la'rom!" Relena stared in shock as the woman yelled in fury in her at a language that the younger woman didn't recognize at all. Relena knew a bit of Japanese, a lot of French, English, and Spanish, not to mention a fair amount of Italian but she had never even heard this language before. The look on the girls face was enough to tell her that she should probably be glad that she didn't know what the taller girl was saying, for Relena was sure that it was derogatory. At some point she thought that she caught the name Zeus, but then was sure that she must have heard wrong, as Iris continued on her rant.  
  
Iris stopped yelling and stood, staring at Relena furiously, the unseen and unfelt wind slowing to a stop and the fire in her eyes banking to hidden embers. "Relena-san. I am going to tell you only once more. You will go into your car and leave and you will not come back until they have left. Do you understand me?"   
  
Relena tried to jerk out of the older woman's grip but found that Iris had suddenly grown incredibly strong. Glaring up with blue fury in her eyes, Relena tried to pull away one last time and, this time, Iris let her go and she went flying backwards and would have hit the door if Iris hadn't reached out and grabbed the lapel of her coat in time.   
  
Relena grabbed her coat lapel and ripped it out of Iris's grasp. "You… you…" Relena could barely breathe, her rage was coursing through her veins too hard to catch. "How dare you touch me?!"   
  
"How dare *I* touch *you*?! What about all the times you touched Heero-kun? Did he respond to you?" This new change of topic shocked Relena and she couldn't find the words to reply. "He didn't… because he's not INTERESTED!!!! Good goddesses, woman! He told you himself! He's not interested in you! At all! So just leave him in peace. If you really love him, you'll accept that he doesn't feel the same way!"  
  
"But… but… he loves me…" Relena's muttered words didn't seem to hold any conviction even to her own ears. She kept hearing Heero's serious voice as it told her that he didn't like her, he liked brunettes. And the smile at Duo; he'd never smiled at her.  
  
"Oh sweet Goddesses above, save me! He *doesn't* love you! Get over it!" Relena opened her mouth but Iris, all her own pain and own heartache entering in her own voice, as she yelled at the smaller girl, "He's not even interested in girls! He likes boys! He loves-" There was a pause as she almost let something slip before continuing, "He loves someone else and that someone else is A BOY!!!!!"  
  
*Smack!* Iris stared in shock at Relena who was breathing heavily, her hand still raised from the slap. "Don't… ever… talk… about… Heero-kun… like that!" Iris's hand raised to her face, gingerly touching her still stinging cheek.   
  
*Smack!* Relena's head snapped to right and stars danced before the blonde's eyes for a moment. An unsteady hand reached up and gingerly touched skin that was already reddening. Iris's blue-violet eyes were narrowed dangerously and Relena, who had never feared any of Heero's glares, found herself taking an involuntary step backward. "Do not EVER call me a liar and NEVER hit me! If I tell you something, it is in the full and honest truth. Do you think that I want Heero-kun to be… gay?! I mean, Goddesses, he's HOT! He's cute and I would love to see more of what's underneath that shell, especially now that he's showing his emotions more often, but that's just the way it turned out!" Relena felt tears pooling in her eyes and tried to blink them away to no avail. Maybe it was because Iris said it with such honesty in her voice that Relena had no chance but to believe her. Maybe it finally got through the thickness of Relena's head that Heero had smiled at someone else, Duo nonetheless, and not her. Maybe it was because, for the first time in her life, Relena had hit someone in an act of anger, acting in a flash of violent rage that she had never known existed within her. Or perhaps, as she told herself, it was just from that burning sensation on her cheek.  
  
They stood there for a long moment, both of them not quite knowing what to say, just staring at each other. Two people, much alike, but extremely different in the same aspect, two souls, at war, from the moment that Relena had first seen Iris. Relena looked away first, noticing her driver standing frozen a few feet away for the first time since the conversation began. Was it true? Did Heero really not love her? It wasn't possible… was it? She didn't care at this point. All she knew was that she had to get away from this girl, this incredibly insightful person who knew where to put all the right barbs.   
  
"I've got to go…" Relena whispered, rushing past Iris, hanging her head so that the older girl wouldn't see her tears. Her arms were wrapped around her waist as she tried to keep from being physically ill. Who was this woman, who seemed to know things that normally would take years to learn? Relena, using her hair as a shield, moved her head to take a quick look at Iris, only to brush the hair out of her face as she saw that the girl was gone without a trace.   
  
As Relena got into the car she couldn't help but take a look back. As she did she thought she saw two shadows, one slightly rainbow colored, another a silvery-blue, talking together. She blinked and they were gone.  
  
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Iris flickered in to the Otherworld for a moment and then flickered back to the shadows just outside the building where the pilots were staying. She felt a hand on her arm and turned to see Artemis staring at her, questions flickering across her face. Iris pouted playfully and asked, "Are you *sure* I can't have Heero?!"   
  
Artemis almost tripped. "Iris-chan!" Iris managed to look somewhat repentant. "Iris-chan, I know you like him and of course he's to-die-for-hot, but the fact of the matter is that we can't have him. It wouldn't matter anyways… he belongs to an entirely different world, one where we don't exist."  
  
"I could ask…"  
  
"Ask who?" Artemis interrupted, "The Fates? They would laugh at you at best and strike you down like they did Zeus-baka for even daring to propose such a thing. The Fates cannot be persuaded from their path, anyways."  
  
"It sucks being us, doesn't it?"  
  
"Yeah… but you'd know better than me, I mean, technically, you're older."   
  
Iris snorted. "Not by much. Besides, you like to take leadership, I just want to be left to my writing."  
  
Artemis nodded, watching as Relena turned to look at Iris and then held back a laugh as the girl straightened and stared in shock at where Iris had stood. "What're you writing this time? And what name are you gonna use to publish it?"  
  
Iris shrugged to the last question and replied, "It's the typical good versus bad. With elves and outcasts thrown in the mix." Artemis laughed. "As for the name… I don't know… I was thinking about Jenna Houston." Artemis shrugged and then watched as Relena turned and almost appeared to be looking at them.   
  
"We should go," Artemis said and Iris shrugged before nodded. Their forms wavered and they were gone to the Otherworld, leaving behind the scent of vanilla mixed with strawberries.  
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: I hoped you liked this part, becuase I loved writing it!   
Kati: Okay, people, REVIEW!!! Understand? REVIEW!!!   
Petra: I'm getting depressed and a depressed Petra is not a fun Petra which means I'll just stop posting! In fact, I refuse to post more if I don't get at least five reviews, dammit! I really liked this story but now I feel like it's really bad because I don't get any reviews. *cries* Well, quick note on Iris: It was fun to make these two people, both obsessed with the same character. Yes, Iris aka Jen-chan is also like that in real life. She's totally addicted to Heero. She writes stories whose soul purpose is to get the two together! --- They're not very good but I'm working with her and hopefully she'll get better. Well... we can hope, ne? As an example of how obsessed she is with anime and manga in general, she's failed the second part of Algebra 1 (she's a senoir in high school) three or four times! *sigh* It is so sad! *groan* I've tried to tell her but I guess I'm going to have to end up hammering it into her skull!! What am I going to do! Lord...   
Kati: Anyways, thanks to:  
  
SERENASMI6: ^_^ Trust me, I don't plan on stopping this story. I'm just getting a little down in the dumps becuase no one's reviewing... *pouts*   
SILVER ANGEL: Hey, girl, I feel so happy that you always review! ^_^ You liked the last chapter? I bet you loved this one. The things we (the fans) have always wanted to say to the bitch... I mean stalker... I mean Relena ^_^;   
VIOLET TEARS: The new Heero? Lord what I wouldn't give to get my hands on a 'new Heero'! Hell, even the old grumpy, but cute Heero would do! He's so kawaii! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	7. First Mornings

Petra: Okay, guys, I know that the 'goddesses' in this are boring for you because you don't know the actual people. So, I thought I'd tell you how it came about. See, at first I was going to right just a little fic about Heero losing his memory but then, I needed someone to take care of him becuase I decided I didn't want Duo to know him right away. Naturally, I'll add my good friends. Well, then I felt obligated to add them all in and... you get the point. Another reason is that, at first, I decided that this would be a prequal to this huge crossover arc I *was* going to do.   
Kati: 'Was' being the key word.   
Petra: So, there you are. The reasons why my bratty friends are in it!  
  
DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: See last 6 chapters!  
DISCLAIMER: *glares* I refuse to say it! *glomps on Heero* I won't let him go! I won't! *looks down* Heero, I didn't know that you could turn blue at will... oh!   
  
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If You Could: First Mornings  
  
"The world is beautiful because no one expects it to be." -Black Beyond; The World is Perfect  
  
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Heero awoke the next morning around nine and flipped over to lie on his stomach, staring at the blank white wall. He grinned as a memory drifted through his mind, of one of the first times he had woken after he'd been healed. It had been interesting… He'd woken at six in the morning, still feeling tired, but feeling as though he should be up, and walked to the kitchen. He'd poured himself a cup of orange juice and walked to Artemis's bedroom. He opened the door slightly and peered inside... to find her sleeping in a corner of her bed, pushed up against the wall, leaving almost the entire bed bare. Blankets lay on the floor and, the one that had been wrapped around her like a cocoon, was half trailing off the bed.   
  
She mumbled incoherently in her sleep, moving slightly as she seemed to sense the presence in her room. Heero, walking over, put the glass down on her desk and then gently shook her by the shoulder. She moaned and pried her eyes open as though she were pain. "Odin?" she asked, her dazed eyes looking at him through a mess of silver-blonde hair.   
  
"I woke up and can't go back to sleep," the boy had stated, watching as her eyes widened. Heero felt himself shiver in the present as he remembered what had happened.   
  
"YOU WOKE UP AND CAME TO WAKE ME UP!!!" Artemis all but screamed. Heero backed up, feeling very alarmed and trying hard not to run screaming from the room; for some reason, Artemis was really, really scary. "GOOD GODDESS IT'S…" she trailed off as she looked at her watch and then let out a screech that Heero was afraid was going to make his ears bleed. "*SIX O'CLOCK* IN THE FUCKIN' MORNING!!! GET BACK TO YOUR DAMN BED BEFORE I TURN YOU TO A PILE OF ASH WHERE YOU STAND!!! *MOVE!!!!*" Heero, who had never been scared of anything in his life, felt himself scuttling like a panicked dog down the hallway and into his bedroom, closing his door and leaning against it, sweating in fear.  
  
Someone knocked on the door and Heero had let out a most undignified screech before frantically crying, "Gomen nasai! Gomen nasai! Kami-sama, gomen nasai! Ashi-"  
  
"Odin-kun, are you okay?" Heero had almost collapsed in relief at the sound of Hestia's voice. He yanked open the door and, though he didn't really care for the smaller girl, pulled her into a hug as he tried to stop trembling. "Odin-kun, what's wrong? I woke up and heard screaming…"  
  
"I… I… I… Arte… awake… six…" He couldn't make the words get past his frozen lips.  
  
"You tried to wake Artemis up, now?" Heero had nodded dumbly. "And you're still alive?" Again Heero nodded. "You lucky S.O.B."   
  
Gently, but firmly, Hestia pried Heero's hands off her arms and, leading him like a child, set him down on his bed. "Listen, Odin-kun, I'm going to tell you something that I should have told you before. Don't ever try to wake Arte-chan up when she's sleeping. She doesn't take it very well." Heero had chuckled weakly. "…As you obviously saw a few minutes ago. Actually, you got off lucky. When Athena tried to wake Artemis up to ask for her password to her Laptop, Ena-chan was lucky to get away with a broken arm and a few bruised ribs." Heero could only nod dumbly and then lay back down on the bed as Hestia walked out of the room.  
  
Heero, now in the present, chuckled fondly as he rolled out of bed, only to see Duo, sitting in his own bed, staring at him as he'd just turned into a can of Dr. Pepper. "Morning, kokoro," Heero said cheerily, as he pulled on his shirt he had worn from yesterday. Reminder to self: Get things from apartment… scratch that, pilots are moving into apartment out of this crap hole. "How did you sleep last night?"   
  
Duo looked as though he were just barely holding himself from panicking. "Not all that good."   
  
"That's okay, koi," Heero said, walking over and lifting Duo's face to is. "It's new adjustment, it's gotta be." He used his other hand to tweak Duo's nose gently before stepping away. "You have breakfast yet?" Heero asked, pulling his hair out of the loose ponytail it had been in.  
  
"No…" Duo trailed off right as Heero's hair flopped around his face. Heero turned to Duo, midnight blue-gray eyes twinkling at the other boy. Duo felt his breath catch in his throat. Jesus Christ, when had Heero gotten so damn beautiful?   
  
"Want go get something with me? We can move all our stuff to my apartment as we go."  
  
"Apartment?" Duo said numbly, still enraptured by the way Heero's hair fell just a bit below his shoulders and that thought led to the incredibly tight shirt that Heero was…  
  
"Yeah," Heero's now incredibly vivid voice broke through Duo's thoughts. "A gift from Arte-chan. It's big enough for all of us to stay which, I'm beginning to believe, was her intent all along."  
  
"Arte-chan? That one of the women that helped you?" 'And that I will now have to worship?' "There were what, three more right?"  
  
"Actually three in all: Artemis, Hestia, and then Athena. I also met another friend of Arte-chan's that pointed you out to me, her name was Hebe."   
  
Duo's brow crinkled. "Wow, that's really weird." One of Heero's brows rose in question. "They're all named after Greek Goddesses."   
  
Heero's eyes widened and he smiled at Duo who, still not use to it, felt like he was being blinded. "I knew something was weird about their name but I couldn't quite put my finger on it." He laughed, snatching Duo off the bed and hugging him. "You're the smartest, koi!" Then Heero let go, grabbing his jacket as he left. "Be downstairs in a couple minutes! I'm treating you to breakfast! I know the best little place! You'll love it, kokoro!"   
  
Duo was left staring at the empty doorway, the feeling of warm arms surrounding him still humming through his mind and heart, and couldn't help but feel as if a tornado had just blown through. 'Heero… You'd better stop being so sweet or I just might fall completely for you and I don't know I could survive it if you went back to ignoring me.'  
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Kati: R&R! You know the rest.   
Petra: By the by, meet Heero, one umbrella, and one Duo in the rain in the next chapter... and did I mention the tiny elevator?   
Kati: THANKS! to:  
  
SILVER ANGEL: ^_^ I'm really glad that you like it! Um... sorry about the lack of reaction but I kinda got stumped and just decided I want to get to messing with Duo's head. Which reminds me, you'll like the next part!  
SWEET MISERY: Um... well... It's artistic liscencing all right! *grumbles* But thanks for telling me anyways! I'm really glad you like the quotes. And may I recommend you read the stories the quotes are from?  
ABERUNCATE: I like you! ^_^ Yeah, have you ever seen that pic where Heero smiles? *purrs* My fav! That's what made me decide he was the second cutest gundam pilot. After Duo, of course! Um... if you're waiting for a kiss... be prepared to wait for a while... *ducks* I'm sorry! But, I do offer you Duo-torture for the meanwhile! *laughs evilly*  
KAZUKO: Sorry! Sorry! If you'll go to the top, I explained why I added 'these people'. I'm sorry you find them boring. In fact, at first I wasn't going to post it but then I wanted to becauseI thought it was cute. The characters were needed at first because... well, um, you can read at the top.  
LB: Who can't love a smiling Hee-chan? Or a blushing one? Mmmm... *blinks* Sorry, went to bishie land there for a moment... ^_^ Thanks for R&R. As Apu on the Simpsons says, "Thank you, come again!" *giggle*  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	8. Elevators Full of Tears and Regrets

Petra: I like this part so much that I just had to put it out right now! ^_^  
Kati: I hope you like it as much!   
Petra: ^_^ Well, I won't bore you. Read! Go!  
  
DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: Angst at the end, shoenen-ai, Duo-torture (but it that really a warning? I mean, most people like seeing Duo squirm...)  
DISCLAIMER: *cries*  
  
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If You Could: Elevators Full of Regrets and Tears  
  
" . . . because it was a conflict of the mind with the heart, a self-destructive fight against himself that was doomed whichever side won the battle." -Rhysenn; Irresistible Poison (HP)  
  
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Heero loved rain. He loved rain and umbrellas, but especially rain. At that moment his arm was wrapped around the waist of the most beautiful person in the world as they shared the only umbrella they had been able to find in the house. Duo had wanted to keep looking but Heero had replied that one umbrella would do and, after chewing on his lip hesitantly, Duo had agreed. Heero had the feeling that there were indeed more umbrellas in the house but, for some strange reason, he had the feeling that Artemis had some mysterious hand in making them disappear and that they would never find them. 'Thanks, Arte-chan.' He could almost hear her reply in the back of his mind: Anytime, Odin-kun, anytime.   
  
After a moment of stiffness from Duo the American had loosened up and even wrapped an arm around Heero's waist in return. Heero was so engrossed in the moment that they almost walked right past his apartment, where he'd decided to drop by before they went to eat so he could change his clothes. When Heero realized what he had done, he stopped suddenly and Duo was forced to stop with him, both boys ignoring the disgusted or dreamy looks they were getting from the people they were walking past.   
  
"What's the matter?" Duo asked, peering at Heero inquisitively, trying to discern what was in his friend's dark blue-gray eyes. Before, he had been able to notice even the slightest difference of a flicker in the Japanese boy's eyes, now his eyes were full of so many emotions at once that it was hard to even begin to decipher what lay in their depths. It had taken Duo many months to learn exactly what Heero meant by each and every gesture, and now Duo found himself at a loss again for what Heero's every look meant… and, frankly, it pissed him off!  
  
"We passed my apartment," Heero said, laughing out loud, ignoring the look that Duo was giving him. "You distract me, koibito!" As Heero said that, he gently wiped a piece of slightly damp hair away from Duo's cheek before laughing softly at the look on his face. "Come on, I'll let you pick out a piece of jewelry from my ever-growing horde of necklaces."  
  
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As Heero held open the door for Duo, the American boy lowered the umbrella and then stepped inside, nodding slightly at Heero, still puzzling through the mystery that, for the second time since he had met the Japanese boy, was Heero Yuy. As the other boy led him to the elevator, Duo felt a sudden sense of loss around his waist and, unconsciously, his hand rose to brush across the bit of his cheek that still tingled from where Heero had brushed it before. Shit, his innocent little crush on Heero was definitely turning to something not so innocent… and what the HELL did Heero mean by 'You distract me'?! And don't even get Duo started with 'koi' and 'koibito' stuff? 'Stupid Japanese! I can't even begin guess at what he means...' Which wasn't entirely true, just from the way that Heero said the words Duo knew that they were something special. Sure, Duo knew a few words, just stuff he adapted from the anime and manga he read and watched or things that he took from Heero, correction, the old Heero. This new Heero seemed to make a special effort in making sure that Duo understood each and every little thing that he said… except for those damn nicknames of course.  
  
"Koi," a gentle hand brushed lightly against his shoulder, just enough to get his attention, and Duo somehow managed to pull himself out of the past. "The elevator's here."  
  
Duo shook his head, trying to calm his thoughts to no avail and stepped inside with Heero… only to realize with a shock that they were the only ones in the elevator… the very small, very cramped, *very* warm elevator. …Did they always make elevators this small, or was it just Duo?   
  
Heero was leaning against the wall, watching Duo freak out and then, to add insult to injury, Heero began to hum a tune that, to Duo's surprise, he did rather well… Duo was pretty sure he would start hyperventilating any time now. The only thing he wanted at that moment was to get out of the elevator. Then, just as Duo was sure he was going to start having to remind himself to breath, the elevator stopped.   
  
As he took a step forward he was suddenly stopped as he felt a warm hand grab his wrist and pull him against an even warmer body. "This isn't our floor, kokoro," Heero whispered in Duo's ear, making Duo shiver. "Ours is the top one, number 40, we're only on number 10." Duo bit back a whimper of fear… he wasn't going to make it… he was either going to go crazy, start hyperventilating, or tackle Heero and kiss the shit out of him right here… 'All of which will get me killed…' At least that's what he started to think before he remembered that this was the same Heero who was currently brushing his thumbs over the inside of Duo's thin wrists.  
  
At that moment three adult males in business suits, talking in hushed tones, stepped into the elevator, making Duo squeeze even more tightly against Heero. After a moment, Heero wrapped both arms around Duo's thin waist, pressing himself against Duo's back and nuzzling his nose into Duo's hair. The three men didn't notice because, not only were they not paying attention, but Duo's jacket did a nice job hiding the twined arms.  
  
Duo was either in heaven or hell, either way it was the most painful, most healing moment in his entire life. He looked at the countdown. Floor twenty!!!!!! Jesus Christ, they were making these things not only smaller but slower as well. Hmm… maybe this was some sort of torture device made by OZ specifically made for hormone-ridden teenage boys… At floor thirty, the three suits finally walked out and left the two gundam pilots alone. Duo let out a sigh of relief, glad that Heero didn't have to hold him any longer, and then tried to pull away; *tried* being the key word.   
  
Heero's arms tightened slightly on Duo's waist and the Japanese boy muttered something into Duo's hair that Duo didn't manage to make out. "Um… Heero… they're gone…" Still the other boy didn't release Duo and, at that moment, Duo realized two things. One: he didn't want Heero to let go because if Heero did, Duo would probably tackle him and… well… he'll leave the rest out. Two: he couldn't get away if he tried. "Um… 'Ro…?" Duo felt the other boy grin into his braid.  
  
"I love that nickname…" Heero whispered before burying his nose back in Duo's hair. "Warm… kokoro…" Heero muttered, the only thing the American could make out, and Duo recognized the other name that Heero had taken to calling him, though it wasn't as frequent as 'koi' or 'koibito'. This time, when Duo tried to pull away, Heero let him but didn't move his hands, leading to Heero's hands lightly holding Duo's waist. Heero slowly turned the utterly confused Duo toward him and, taking Duo's hand in his, spread his friend's fingers out, pressing his to it, palm to palm.  
  
"Heero… what're you…" Duo trailed off as he saw that Heero was looking at their two hands as if he had never seen them before.  
  
"Your hands are smaller… but you've got longer fingers than I do, making your hand appear almost as large as mine…" Slowly, carefully, as though afraid, Heero laced their hands together. "Perfect fit, koi…" the Wing pilot whispered, looking up into violet pools of light. The elevator stopped and, with a ding, the doors opened, though Duo didn't notice it, lost as he was in shimmering pools of dark blue-gray that reminded him of the ocean.  
  
Duo felt disappointed as Heero dropped his hand gently, saying, "We're here, koibito." Then, the American froze in surprise as he felt as Heero lean in close… but the Japanese boy simply brought his lips to Duo's ear, making the other boy tremble slightly, before whispering, " 'Such a day of days! I let it come and go as traceless as a thaw of bygone snow. It seemed to mean so little, meant so much! If only now I could recall that touch, first touch of hand in hand!-Did one but know!' Christina Rosetti… Arte-chan had some of her books…" Then the Japanese pilot was stepping past Duo who was sure that his shocked brain was going into total meltdown  
  
For a minute Duo who was sure that he would either collapse on the ground laughing hysterically or just plain faint. "Koibito…" the quiet voice made Duo look up to see Heero standing in front of the elevator doors, holding them open, as they vainly pushed against his hands again and again. "Koi, are you okay?"  
  
Duo wanted to scream and pound on something, anything to bring back the Heero he had known, the Heero that had been safe to love and want, because *that* Heero would never have shown in interest in him… because this Heero was acting as if he *liked* Duo… and Duo was so scared that when the Japanese boy got his memories back (though Heero said it was impossible) the Wing pilot would no longer love him… 'No wait, scratch that, Heero doesn't love me… but he will stop acting like he has been… like I actually mean something to him…' There was so much to lose because of this… but there was also so much to gain. Duo was shocked, and scared, and didn't know what to do or what to say.   
  
"I know this is all really sudden, at least it seems sudden to you," Heero was saying, causing Duo to blink in surprise. "But everything I do now are things that I wanted to do all the time, but I couldn't."  
  
'Things that I wanted to do'… Duo felt a warm hand grab his wrist again and pull him gently into the fancy hallway of the top floor. The elevator door closed behind them as Heero pulled Duo after him and Duo was only vaguely aware of the rich carpet under his feet and passing him. It wasn't until Heero stopped in front of one of the two doors that Duo realized that a) the hallway was incredibly rich and b) there were only two doors.   
  
" 'Ro," Duo said, tugging slightly on the other boy's coat and feeling rather like a child as he did so. "There's only two doors… and these furnishings are really rich. You sure this is the right floor?"  
  
Heero turned around and smiled at Duo, right as the lock opened with a loud 'click'. "Yeah, I don't know where Arte-chan gets the money, but I wasn't about to waste it. Besides I figured, from the few memories I have, it'd be a nice change." This was something new, Heero had some memories, and he hadn't told Duo or the other pilots? Then of course, he'd never said that he didn't get his memories back, in fact, now that Duo thought about it, he'd very purposefully avoided that type of question.  
  
"What do you remem-" Duo started to ask as Heero pushed open the door and stepped inside, Duo following closely behind, before Duo was interrupted by a loud, feminine shriek.  
  
"Odin-kun!!!!!" the same female screamed as she rushed and tackled Heero, sending Heero flying backwards right into Duo.   
  
"Shimatta!" Heero cursed, desperately twisting in the air so that he wouldn't land on Duo and, instead, ended up on the ground lying on top of a very dazed Artemis. Duo lay on the floor a few feet away where Heero had pushed him, trying to figure out why the room wouldn't stop spinning. Quickly getting off Artemis, who somehow Heero knew would be alright, (and, well, it was her fault anyway!) Heero walked over to Duo and pulled him up. Duo leaned against him as the room dipped and swirled dangerously, closing his eyes tightly against the pain.   
  
Heero wrapped one arm tightly around the American's waist while using the other to lightly test Duo's head for where the bump was. Duo let out a small cry as Heero pressed lightly upon the other boy's left temple and Heero almost felt himself cry out in return, feeling as though he knew the other's pain. Suddenly he noticed that pale fingers with long nails were lovingly pushing his hand out of the way.   
  
"Odin-kun, you probably better get him inside, he looks a little pale," Artemis said softly and he looked into blue-green depths, feeling as though he were drowning in a forest glade. "We can talk inside."  
  
He didn't know how she knew that a million questions had been on the tip of his tongue, but he knew that it was yet another reason why he wanted to ask her one more question. He didn't say anything though, instead picking Duo gently up who wrapped one arm around Heero's neck.   
  
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"Heero… Jesus Christ my head hurts!" Duo said, pressing his face into Heero's neck. His thoughts swam sluggishly around his head, and he couldn't seem to remember exactly where he was or what had/was happening. All he did know was that Heero, the boy he had unwittingly fallen in love with, was holding him almost painfully close and looking at him with concern and… something else…   
  
What had happened anyway? Out of the corner of his eye Duo noticed a golden-haired girl watching him and, as if noticing his regard she turned. She smiled at him and winked. He blinked and then pressed a little closer to Heero, trying to get away from the regard of the strange woman. When she had looked at him at him, it had seemed like she was looking into his very soul and he didn't want anyone to see his soul, as blackened as it was by this seemingly unending war.   
  
It took more power for Duo to reason that out then it seemed possible to, but for some reason he suddenly felt very weak. He closed his eyes in a moment of pain and then opened them again not, as he had last been, in Heero's warm, comforting arms, but lying on a soft bed that smelled of Heero; of dewy grass with a slight hint of vanilla. For a minute he thought he was awake, but the feeling of warm, moist lips pressing up against his forehead followed by Heero's low voice whispering, "Koi… Love… you're so beautiful. I hope you're not harmed, it would break my heart if I had hurt you in anyway. Sleep, kokoro, my heart, sleep…" And then the warmth that Duo hadn't even noticed was pressed against the side of his leg, was gone and he heard the soft latch of the door as it was closed carefully.  
  
Tears came unbidden with those last words of Heero's and Duo turned on his side repeating 'It's a dream' over and over in his head. That still didn't help the fact that Heero had already hurt him more times than he could count. He remembered the feeling of pain, both physical and emotional, when Heero had punched him as Duo had tried to touch him that one time; the physical hadn't bothered him as much, it had disappeared within a few days but the emotional still made his heart ache. He thought of the way Heero had always threatened to kill Relena but never had, showing he must have feelings for the girl though, truth be told, Heero had done the same once or twice to him… He let himself revel in that idea before he crushed it, just like how his heart had been crushed so many times.  
  
'Heero… do know what you do to me? Every time I reached out you pushed me back even more… Why? And why do you smile at me now? Why do you act like you care? Why… why now…?' He felt his eyes beginning to water. 'Why are you showin' me the person beneath the ice? The person I always knew was there and that I loved…? Why?! Right when the pain was dulling, when I was ready to accept my fate? When I was beginning to accept that you were dead?! That I would never get to tell you how I felt? That I would regret not telling you for the rest of my *goddamn* *fucking* life?! WHY ARE YOU ACTING THIS WAY!!!!!' He suddenly realized that his breath was coming out faster and faster and he stopped, slowing his breathing, letting out a choked sob.   
  
He closed his eyes as he drifted to sleep, one lone tear managing to make it free of its darkly lashed prison, sliding down dark half circles beneath weary eyes, onto cheekbones thin from when Duo had thought the Japanese boy dead, to lips that whispered softly but once, "It was dream… but, oh, how I wish it hadn't been…"  
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: What'd you think?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! Gawd, I love torturing Duo... Did you like the elevator part? *giggle* I liked writing it! I'm sorry it had to get sad at the end... you can always go and read the elevator part over again...   
Kati: Thanks:  
  
ASAMI: Actually, no, though I have had the idea of turning Duo into a god and keeping Heero a mortal and seeing what happens, but I have to finish my many other stories. ^_^ I'm actually working on two GWs one right now. So, I guess you'll just have to wait and see what happens.  
SILVER ANGEL: ^_^ Heya, again! I don't think I'll write their reactions. Frankly, they probably won't be in the story much becuase I wrote this to try to help me understand Heero and Duo's relationship more than anything. They're in it, but their reactions to Heero aren't as important as Duo's so... *shrug* Did you like these mind games? I did! (I'm an evil, evil person. *wink*)  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	9. Smiles that Never Reach the Eyes

Petra: Can't talk.   
Kati: Must run.   
Petra: Love you all.   
Kati: R&R.  
  
DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: Angst and more Duo-torture (what can I say? I think more stories need this!)  
DISCLAIMER: If everyone would just send me about fifteen dollars each I will proablaly have enough to buy Gundam Wing and then... *thoroughly evil smile*  
  
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If You Could: Smiles that Never Reach the Eyes  
  
"He always understood a little too much, felt a little too deeply, tried a little too hard, smiled one too many times without feeling." -Lauren; Good-Bye (GW)  
  
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"There are a lot of issues to be solved between them, isn't there?" Aphrodite asked, looking between the door to the apartment and the bedroom door, before looking back at the door to the apartment that Heero had just walked out of.   
  
Artemis smiled sadly. "Yes, there is. But their love is strong, they will pull through… even I can feel their love, it is so strong…"  
  
Aphrodite nodded, remembering the way she hadn't been able to move, much less help, when Artemis had tackled Heero. The feeling of love and tension between the two had been so strong that, for a minute, she wasn't even sure if she could breath. After Heero had put Duo to bed, Artemis had introduced Aphrodite and Heero before, bossily and curtly, telling Heero he needed to go buy food so that Aphrodite and she could cook them all a nice brunch. Though he hadn't wanted to go, in fact Artemis had to literally push him out the door, he went in the end.  
  
"There's something about both boys, even when Odin-kun was acting unemotional, that just seems to draw people to them," Artemis said, sitting down on the couch gracefully before crossing her long legs.   
  
"That's why they're the only ones who can save this world, sadly," Aphrodite said, "Which is why I really don't like interfering with their lives. We're not just messing with two people here, we're messing with an entire world, maybe more." Upon seeing the peeved look on the other's face, Aphrodite went and sat next to Artemis on the couch, continuing before the other girl could interrupt, "I do agree with you that we should become more active in the humans' lives again, but now, and with these specific ones... I don't think this is not the right time."  
  
"You don't understand," Artemis said, leaning back and looking at the ceiling, her eyes unfocused and Aphrodite knew that she was remembering tears and laughter. "*Because* of the fact that it deals with more than one world we should be more involved than ever before. No matter what two people in love, no matter what time, no matter if they are *only* two people, we will still end up messing with the world. *You*, of all people, should know how important one person is to the entire world. More importantly, though, he's family… from a time and place that the world has forgotten and that, in the process, has also forgotten us; from a dimension where we no longer exist. Odin-kun is one of my descendants and the only one, besides my daughter, that I've actually been able to get to know. He's the only reminder I have left of… of… *him*." Her eyes clouded, memories of dear face and an even dearer soul filling memories… of eyes the color of the midnight sky… the same color as Heero's. She turned to Aphrodite suddenly. "And don't tell me you don't realize who Duo-kun is!"  
  
Aphrodite looked down suddenly, pain flickering in her eyes. "Yes… I know…" Memories of eyes the light shade of lilac, almost gray, filled her own memory, of sweet kisses, and whispered promises.  
  
Then Artemis laughed and Aphrodite looked at her in surprise. "Well," Artemis replied to her inquiring gaze, "We should take advantage of having grandchildren because, at this rate, these are the only grandchildren we're going to get unless males can suddenly have children…" At this they both started laughing, their laughter filling the air and sounding like the rustle leaves of trees on a moonlit night and the beat of wings on a fresh spring breeze.  
  
"Poor Duo-kun! He doesn't know what he's getting into if Odin-kun's anything like you!" Aphrodite giggled slightly and then laughed out loud as she saw Artemis's face which slightly resembled a fish. "Ah, I guess Duo-kun and I are alike in more ways than one…" With a shriek of indignation Artemis launched herself at Aphrodite and both fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs, laughter following quickly. Laughter and shrieks filled the air as first Artemis, then Aphrodite, then Artemis again got the upper hand as they tickled each other.  
  
"Um… excuse me…" the timid voice said a few moment later, as they lay on the floor next to each other, giggles escaping every few moments as they breathed heavily.   
  
Artemis and Aphrodite both turned at the same time to look at a sleepy-eyed Duo. His usual black outfit was rumpled and he shuffled his feet back and forth, the socks half hanging off. Hair was falling out of the braid so messily that it almost didn't look like it was even in the braid and his eyes had that sleepy look to them, barely covering the eyes that were bloodshot from tears that he was trying carefully to hide. Artemis couldn't keep back the cry that erupted from her throat, "KAWAII!!!" She leaped up and 'glomped' on the younger boy. "Duo no kawaii!"  
  
Duo stared with wide eyes at the other girl in the room who had collapsed back on the floor, laughter shaking her entire body. Artemis pulled back and said, "Duo-kun, you are so cute! I'm so glad I finally have a chance to meet you in person." She tapped a finger against the tip of his nose, causing pink to slightly brush across his cheekbones. "I can see what he sees in you."  
  
Duo almost stopped breathing for a moment as the possibilities raced through his head. "He…?" Artemis stared at him in surprise for a moment before turning her head to look Aphrodite and then looking back at him. Her arms tightened slightly in something that felt like an extremely reassuring hug.   
  
"I'm not going to tell you; it wouldn't be right to tell you now and, when it is right to tell you, you'll already know," she said, before looking at him intently and Duo couldn't help but get the feeling that she was stripping away all his defenses and looking at the real him. "Duo, even though Odin-kun has become extremely expressive, there are still some things that he doesn't know how to do or express. You have to help him and be patient, he's trying very hard to do what he thinks is right but…" she shrugged. "It's like he's been blind his entire life and only just now got his sight and, of course, he's able to do everything he wanted to do, and he has an idea of what he wants to do, but he's going to make mistakes no matter how hard he tries."  
  
"Odin…?" Duo asked, though he was pretty sure he knew who she was talking about.   
  
"Heero, I mean. Odin-kun's rather my special nickname for him," she smiled a motherly smile and Duo was suddenly stricken with a longing for Sister Helen so intense that he felt tears restrict his throat. As though she knew exactly what he was thinking about, she wrapped him another hug and whispered, "I know you've been hurt a lot… but everything worth having involves risks. The war might demand your life but, in the end, you will get peace. Love will always demand your heart, though, and in the end, you have as much chance as getting something incredible as you do something horrible." She kissed him on the forehead, smiling sweetly, and Duo felt as though his strength had been zapped out of him and then completely replaced by someone other's than his own.  
  
"Who're you…?" Duo asked, realizing for the first time that he didn't even know who was holding him in a motherly hug.  
  
She laughed and stepped back, going to stand next to Aphrodite who Duo had completely forgotten about.   
  
"I'm Artemis and this is my friend, Aphrodite," Artemis said, motioning to the darker woman standing beside her. "Odin-kun's gone right now to get groceries so that we can cook brunch."  
  
"Um… Hi… I guess you already know that I'm Duo Maxwell…" Duo said a little hesitantly, there was something different about these women, something down to earth, but almost unearthly at the same time. "So… um… 'Ro didn't know-"  
  
He was suddenly interrupted as Artemis let out a shriek and then a soft sigh of 'Kawaii' again before staring at him with starry eyes. He raised his eyebrows and, to the unspoken question she replied, "That nickname is just so cute! How kawaii!"   
  
"What does 'kawaii' mean?" he asked Aphrodite as Artemis was still staring at him with a dazed, starry expression.  
  
She laughed and then sighed before saying, "It means cute in Japanese. Just ignore her, we've tried to see if a mental hospital will work but, sadly it doesn't… now, what were you going to ask?"  
  
"Um… Heero… didn't know, so I figured I'd ask; what's with your names?" Aphrodite and Artemis both looked at each other and then turned to look Duo.  
  
"You know… Odin-kun must not as smart as he's supposed to be because he never asked that question and he was with us for quite a long time," Artemis laughed and then motioned to Aphrodite to continue.   
  
"Our names are from Greek mythology," Aphrodite answered.  
  
"Well, um, yeah, I kinda knew that… like you're named after the goddess of love and Artemis is named after the goddess of the hunt but… why?"   
  
Artemis and Aphrodite shared another look and this time Artemis answered, "Why what?"  
  
"Okay," Duo said, beginning to get frustrated, "Now you're just avoidin' the question. Why are you all named after the Greek goddesses? I mean… Hestia, Artemis, Athena, and Aphrodite. Those aren't names you normally call people, there's got to be a story behind them.  
  
The two women shared another look before Aphrodite answered, "They aren't our real names but, out of all the names we've been given over the years, we rather like these. So, in truth, they're really our nicknames."  
  
Duo didn't really know exactly why it still seemed like they weren't really answering him but, seeing as it didn't seem he would ever get a straight answer he decided that, for now, he would accept their half answers. Then, without even meaning to, a question that had just popped into his head slipped out of his mouth, "What do you see when you look at Heero?"  
  
Aphrodite and Artemis stared at each other before Aphrodite sighed and said, "Gangly limbs. I see a teenage boy, like any other teenage boy, whose body hasn't grown into his limbs but yet, his limbs are too thin to have grown into his body. I see a boy who sometimes moves with the grace of a panther but, at other times, is as awkward as any other boy at his age…"  
  
Artemis picked up, "I see a boy with unruly hair, the kind of boy who doesn't care what he looks like. He likely just runs a brush through it in the morning and then frankly doesn't care what it does and, at the most, pulls it back in a loose might-as-well-not-be-there ponytail. I see a young man who is just now becoming conscious of what he looks like in other's eyes but doesn't give a shit. I see a regular teenage boy… until I look in his eyes."  
  
Aphrodite smiled a sad smile before continuing where Artemis had left off, "When I look in his eyes it's like I'm seeing a bitter seventy-year-old man who knows he doesn't belong but can't do anything about it. I see ice and broken dreams, pain and veils, life and death."   
  
Artemis looked up and Duo was surprised to see that tears were brimming in her eyes as she said, in barely a whisper, "I see a boy who doesn't know who he is or remember his past, but can still sense his own broken dreams and feel pain from events he doesn't even remember. I see a teenage boy, who looks like a teenager, has a heart like a child, the mind adult but the eyes of an immortal." Then, so low he barely caught it, "I never thought humans would become so deprived as to do this to children… if only I had known sooner…" Then, continuing in a choked voice, "He reminds me of my lover from long ago. They never seem to have a chance to be children. Blue eyes… so full of pain…" She wrapped her arms around herself.   
  
Duo could only stare at her, at the pain that was visible in her eyes, for herself, for her lover, for Heero… for him? "What about me?" the women looked up in surprise, "What do you see… when you look at me?"  
  
Aphrodite started this one too with, "I see a boy who looks as though he's about to become extremely tall, but who won't because of his past. I see a young man whose limbs are just starting to fit his body. Who wears black that contradicts a smile which never reaches his eyes."  
  
Artemis, looking at him but not seeing him, continued, "I see a boy whose hair has so much meaning and yet so little. Who, when the darkness and the killing become to much, clutches his hair, smiles, and remembers a promise made to himself. I see a heart-shaped face that will always remain just a tad too thin and hands that will always remain steady and true, though the will and heart might stumble and fall. Feet that, while sure of where they want to go, trip so often and so much that they're not sure they know the way anymore."  
  
"And violet eyes," Aphrodite continued as Duo looked down, "Violet eyes that, no matter what the lips say, won't smile. Violet eyes that reflect a little too much pain, a little too much experience, and far too many dreams that have died. Violet eyes that refuse to cry and that have lost much of the passion they used to have."   
  
Artemis let out a short sad laugh before saying, in an almost hysterical voice, "Violet eyes that have seen what no one should see. Eyes that belong to a young boy who shall never be what he could have been and, in the process, forgot how to really smile and hates himself for it…" Again in a whisper, "A boy who hurts so much that his pain hits me like a physical blow."  
  
Aphrodite suddenly turned toward him and asked, "And what do you see, when you look at us, child?"  
  
Duo looked at them a long while before replying, "Two grown women who are more than what they want people to believe. Two women who feel a little too much, see a little more than most, and touch less than they want to."  
  
Artemis looked up, light blue-green eyes almost completely blue with unshed tears and she nodded, only once, but for some reason it was as if it were the greatest praise she could have given him. Artemis blinked rapidly, dispelling the tears before getting up and, walking over to Duo, put both hands on his shoulders and stared deep into his eyes, reaching farther and farther until Duo wanted to scream at the intrusion. "Duo," her voice broke the daze he had fallen in. "The war will never end." His heart froze. "Oh yes, this war in particular will end one day but… hate, fear, the hurting of other people, it will never stop, not in this world… but, I promise you, upon the grave of my father's father, you will see another world where it will happen and, though the cost will be great and the toll will be harder than you can imagine, in the end, it will be worth it to see a world truly, once and for all, at peace." With that she stepped back and turned toward the door right as Heero opened it, exclaiming, "Odin-kun! Good! You have the food! Here, let me take one of those bags and you can tell me where all the food goes while Di-chan fixes up Duo-kun's hair.  
  
Duo was shocked at the change. One minute she had been serious, tears shimmering in eyes that he realized did not belong of this earth, the next minute she was laughing and smiling at Heero while grabbing one of the bags out his arms and walking with him toward the kitchen. It seemed he wasn't the only one whose smile never quite reached his eyes.  
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: Like it?   
Kati: Love it?   
Petra: Hate it?   
Kati: Love me?   
Petra: Please, please, please R&R!!   
Kati: And thanks to all those who reviewed:  
  
LB: Duo-kun's fun to mess with, ne? *giggles* And Hee-kun no kawaii. *sigh* *goes into Lala Land*  
KAJETH: Um... Arte-chan is anti-male. Very anti-male... just not the one in my story... becuase then certain things wouldn't work and... well... *sighs* What can I say?  
ASAMI: Duo-kun as a god, Heero-kun as a mortal will porbably never get finished so don't sit around waiting for it. Sorry. I'm currently writing two Gundam fics and a Sailor Moon fic plus about one little short a week. I don't have time to start that one but, I promise, if I ever finish one of the ones I've started I will write that one! ^_-  
LB: Don't you wish you were in Duo-kun's place? I do. *sigh* I do think OZ made that elevator. *giggle* I'm sorry, I'm silly, but I just love that line! -_-; About the grammar... well... I do it read it but I don't have a beta (nor do I want one, I actually enjoying correcting it) so there are bound to be mistakes. Also, sometimes I read them before hand but most of the time I'm just trying to get it out before I go away for two days and I figured the readers would rather have a few mistakes then have to wait two weeks, instead of one, for the next chapter to come out. ^_^ I try, though!  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	10. Never Be

Petra: Read. There's not much else to do.   
Kati: Review if you want, I guess  
  
DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: Angst and one refrence of abuse  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own it. Just this story.   
  
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If You Could: Never Be  
  
"The troubles of the young are soon over; they leave no external mark. If you would the tree in its youth the bark will quickly cover the gash; but when the tree is very old, peeling the back off, and looking carefully, you will see the scar there still. All that is buried is not dead. The barb in the arrow of childhood's suffering is this--its intense longliness, its intense ignorance." -Oliver Schriener; Story of an African Farm  
  
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Artemis turned back and winked at Duo before she and Heero went through the door to the kitchen. There, she dumped the bag on the counter and began to the process of asking where the things in it went before placing them where Heero said to. For a while all that was heard in the kitchen were questions on where food went but, finally, Artemis turned to Heero and, with a serious look on her face said, "Odin-kun, we need to talk."  
  
Heero froze right as his hand was about to put a box of cereal in a cabinet and simply stood there for a moment before finally putting it down slowly and then, carefully, turning to Artemis, a little fear shining in his eyes.  
  
"It's about Duo-koi, isn't it?" he asked, his hand going up to clasp the necklace he was wearing in a move that she was beginning to realize was an unconscious nervous gesture. This time it was a small crescent moon with a rose in the middle.  
  
Artemis nodded and then pulled herself up onto the counter, so she was sitting with her legs crossed. "He doesn't know how you feel. He doesn't know how he feels. He's so confused right now…"  
  
Heero looked down, the pain in his eyes flickering off and on. "I've… I've tried to show him… like how I hugged him this morning but… I'm afraid to tell him right out, afraid that it might scare him away."  
  
"He's scared you're going to turn back into who you were before." Heero looked up in shock, his eyes wide. "He's afraid that when he tries to touch you, you'll hit him."  
  
"I would never-"  
  
"You did… before. Just for just *trying* to touch you…" Heero turned away and stared out the window that was at the end of the kitchen. "He's afraid that you'll tell him how you feel and then, when you get your memories back, you'll say it didn't mean anything. That it was a mistake, perhaps."  
  
"Was I really that cold and cruel?" Heero asked, turning back to look at Artemis with pain that almost overflowed out of his eyes and Artemis could just barely bight back the cry of shared grief that almost escaped her lips.   
  
"You weren't being cruel… it's just…" She sighed as she searched her heart and mind for a way to explain. "You were falling in love with Duo and, while you didn't mind the feelings, the soldier inside you didn't like them and saw them as a weakness. Now, as the soldier is needed at the present moment, people rarely saw anything other than him and you rarely let your real self out. So, when Duo tried to touch you, and caused all these new and frightening feelings inside you, the soldier saw it as a weakness. It couldn't eliminate the weakness, though, because as a partner on the missions he was a strength that you could not afford to lose. The soldier, however, wouldn't allow the touching and used the only way he knew how to get Duo to stop; he used pain, though it was only mental and emotional. Though he touched you less and less, he never really stopped, until the soldier got even more cruel and hurtful till, right before you lost your memories, you physically punched him into a wall."   
  
Heero stared at her and let out a small cry that turned into a choking sound, before he leaned heavily against the counter, staring in her direction but not really seeing her. "I don't deserve someone like him," Heero whispered, "I don't deserve his smiles or his eyes or the way he always seems to know just what to say when everyone is feeling depressed..."  
  
Heero looked up in shock as Artemis, now standing next to him, pulled him into a motherly hug, stroking his hair as he let a few tears fall. He was wrapped in the gentle smell of a moonlit night and vanilla and, while part of his mind wondered how Artemis had gotten so close so fast without him knowing, the other part of him could only feel the pain at what he done to Duo.  
  
"You should tell him," Artemis whispered into his hair. "Maybe not right now, because you would scare him, but… soon. I don't know how long he's going to last if you keep him guessing… it's already driving him crazy." She kissed him gently on the forehead and smiled, saying, "Why don't you go and get Di-chan and then just stay in there with Duo-kun?"  
  
Heero nodded and took a deep breath, composing himself Artemis figured, and then walked out the door--or almost walked out the door.  
  
"Odin-kun," Artemis's voice stopped him right as he got to the doorway and he turned, looking at her with a quizzical expression on his face. "Do you know what Duo-kun asked us?" Heero shook his head. "He asked us what we saw when we looked at you, and then he asked what we saw when we looked him. It was an interesting question."  
  
Heero hesitated a moment before asking, "And… what did you say…?"  
  
Suddenly, Artemis wasn't quite smiling; she wasn't frowning, but she wasn't smiling either. "We said," she replied, looking him straight in the eye, "That we see teenage boys with the heart of children and the mind of adults. Young men who shall never be what they could have been and, in the process, have forgotten how to really smile… and they hate themselves for it. Children, yet men, whose smiles will never quite reach their eyes."  
  
Heero grinned but it wasn't a real smile. He took a deep breath and then nodded, only once, but it was enough. Artemis nodded back and then she turned back toward the oven as Heero left the room.   
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: There is, hoped you liked it.   
Kati: Thanks to those who reviewed:  
  
PUNKBABE: Okay, you're message about made my day. I mean, come on, how could it not. I about burst into tears. I'm sorry about what I said above but, as you'll see, I've written quite a lot of shorts. Thank you for your encouragement. I will finish... it just might take a while a longer than it would have. Sorry again.  
ANN: Hey, girlie. I like you. Short, sweet, and to the point. ^_^ I mean, c'mon people, this is all I ask. Thanks for the encouragement and sorry.  
LORA: I like that you got into the story and the fact that you wanted to give me suggestions means a lot. I'm always open for constructive critism; that's how you grow as a writer. As to the fact that I didn't ask the readers to review in the nicest way... well... let me tell you this, it's not very nice not to the review the story. I mean, we would write if no one would read, but it wouldn't be the same. We write, not just for us, but you readers to.  
SILVER ANGEL: Girl, I love you to death. You ALWAYS review and you don't know what that means to me. Yeah, that was a nice introspective bit on my part. Thanks for the support, Lord knows I need it.   
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	11. A Cry Echoed Back Through Time

Petra: *peeks around corner* Are you guys mad? *ducks flying object* Shit! I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY!!!! Have I said it enough? I've been so busy. My friends and I were visiting relatives so we were driving all over the US visiting their families and mine. Oh, and what free time I've got is helping my friend Fri-chan plan her wedding. So, in case you didn't heard it the first time I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY!!!!   
Kati: *looks starved* So weak... Need strength...  
Petra: *blushes* Been sorta starving my muse... *nervous laugh*  
  
DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: Angst and a small referenc to Wufei's past which I'm assuming everyone knows about but if you don't... go look it up  
DISCLAIMER: *raised voices are heard behind curtain before all five gundam pilots are pushed out naked, each holding a sign over their privates that read, in order* [Petra] [No] [Own] [Gundam] [Wing]   
~Heero: I will kill you for this!   
~Duo: *drool* Hee-kun...  
~Kati: I will worship you forever... Oh, Trowa-kun!!   
~Trowa: *glups and backs away* Quatre! Help me!  
~Quatre: *on ground laughing*  
~Wufei: Onna! How dare you make me do this!  
~Petra: Don't you love 'em?  
  
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If You Could: A Cry Echoed Back Through Time  
  
"Your lives were suffered for. Your wealth, yourchildren, your careers, purchased at the hands of fifteen-year-olds turned martyrs. They recieved not thanks. They were hated, jeered at, struck down." -Meiran Chang; Those Eyes Were Killer (GW)  
  
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Wufei stared at the page for a moment before blinking rapidly. Still the phrase across the blank page didn't go away. The phrase was printed by computer in the space between the middle and top of the page: "We're our own dragons as well as our own knights, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves," said by Tom Robbins. Wufei simply sat there for a long moment, looking at that particular phrase which, for some reason, called up something deep within him, before looking at the bottom which had the word's scrawled in a woman's handwriting: Maybe it isn't necessarily the knight who is the righteous one here, perhaps it's the dragon… and if it's the dragon, then people's views have been wrong for quite some time… like right now…   
  
He stared, remembering his shock, hurt, and rage when the colonies had turned against them, disowning them like parents whose children have done something wrong. He closed his eyes tightly, counted to five, and then opened them. The words were gone, leaving the next chapter to the engrossing book that he had been devouring. Where he had been escaping from the pain of betrayal he hadn't wanted to admit to, until he had turned the page to see the next only with two lines on the top and four lines on the bottom.   
  
"Wufei-kun…" the voice, so familiar and yet so strange at the same time, caused Wufei to turn around a bit quicker than he normally would. Heero jumped a little bit and then laughed, the sound still unfamiliar to Wufei's ears. "Still don't agree that it's safer here than at that old run down motel?"   
  
Wufei rolled his eyes as he remembered the argument they had gotten into when Heero had come back to the safe-house and told them to pack, that they were going to his nice apartment instead of staying in that "rat-infested crap hole". In the end, Heero had won but Wufei had to admit the thought of sleeping on actual beds instead of mattresses had been very inviting... so he hadn't put up that much of a fight.  
  
Heero laughed again and threw himself down on the couch next to Wufei, who bounced up in the air for a moment. "Oh, don't be so sour! You got to admit, this is a nicer than that other place." Wufei glared but nodded. "Anyway!" Heero said, sitting up straighter and thrusting his hand inside his pocket, "I have something that I want to give to you."   
  
Wufei stared at Heero in surprise before asking, "Why?"  
  
"Because, when Arte-chan gave it to me, I knew that it was really intended for you." Then he smiled triumphantly, pulled out his hand, and let dangle the most beautiful thing Wufei had ever seen.   
  
A 3D red dragon made entirely of dark red ruby had been caught in mid-flight in perfection. It was so incredibly detailed that he could see individual scales as the light caught it in a certain way. The wings were extremely muscled and he expected it to actually start beating its wings any moment; clutched tightly in its mouth was a small, lighter, red ruby while its tail was firmly wrapped around green emerald. He knew instantly that those two specific jewels had been chosen for a reason; they were his and Meiran's birthstones.   
  
"The chain is made out of some gundanium that came off of your gundam during a fight... though don't ask me how Arte-chan got close enough to get a piece."   
  
Heero pushed it toward Wufei a little and, with trembling fingers, Wufei grasped the dragon within his hand. Instantly his ears could only hear the roar as the dragon raced across a blood-red sky, his scream echoing with pain beyond understanding. Wings beat furiously and red foam formed around its mouth... it had been flying so long. Finally, its wings could move no more and it was falling… falling… Until it felt itself caught by warm and gentle hands…  
  
"Wufei!" Heero's cry in his ear brought the Chinese boy back to the real world. "Wufei-kun, are you alright? You spaced out there for a moment…"   
  
"Yeah… I'm fine… Thanks…" he said, trying to smile reassuringly but Heero didn't look convinced.  
  
"There's a story that goes with that dragon, if you're interested…" Heero said, gesturing vaguely toward the necklace that Wufei was still holding. When Wufei didn't say anything Heero continued, "It's said a rich Chinese prince was given a pair of dragon brooches by his grandmother, whom he loved very much. She told him that when he found a woman he loved he should keep the red and give the violet to her. It turned out that the grandmother had been wrong about how the brooches worked for, one day after the prince had visited the market, he found that he had lost the violet dragon brooch. The next day a peasant woman came to the palace, saying that she had found a beautiful violet dragon brooch that looked like the one the prince always wore and she was returning it. The prince came to get the dragon pendant and thanked her profusely and, as they got to talking, he took an instant liking to her. Later, he gave her back the brooch and asked her to marry him. For you see, the pendant actually works the other way around; the brooches were actually meant to bring two soulmates together."  
  
Wufei stared at Heero for a moment and then asked, "Where's the violet one?" Heero shrugged and, after the Japanese boy had stared at Wufei a moment, he left. Carefully, making sure he didn't drop it, Wufei placed the dragon around his neck and clasped it into place. He had recognized the pain in that cry that had shattered the still air… it was the cry of one who had lost something he hadn't even know he had. He had once echoed that same cry…  
  
He opened the book again, but this time there was one single line scrawled across the middle, that disappeared as soon as he read it: Friendship, not time, will heal all wounds.  
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Kati: R&R! Need food...  
Petra: *giggle* It's nice to see her more mellow, ne?  
Kati: Shut... up...   
Petra: *hides smile* Ahem! Anyways, thanks to all the lovely people who reviewed despite that fact that, as Lora pointed out, I "didn't ask for them in the nicest way" so, um, yeah... Thanks:  
  
PUNKBABE: Can we say I love you? Absolutely love you. Like as in, you pratically own my soul, that's how much I love you? And the fact that you compared me to C.S. Lewis is very flattering, thank you very much.  
ANN: Thanks, that's all I really want. You don't have to write much. In fact, you could just type 'I like' for all I care.  
LORA: Yeah, I know. I'm sorry about that, by the way. I was mostly taking out my school and friend frustrations on you guys... *meekly* sorry...  
SILVER ANGEL: ^_- Thanks. Yeah, I was really proud of that and all too. Kinda poetic, ne?   
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	12. If I Could Die For Every Tear

Kati: I'm back! And with vengence!   
Petra: Um... Yay! Didn't we miss her guys?   
Kati: Yeah, sure ya did! Little bitch!  
Petra: Be nice, Kati!   
Kati: *closes eyes and sticks out tongue*  
Petra: *uses chance and traps Kati in box*  
Kati: *muffled screams*  
Petra: Anyways, read on! *smiles*  
  
DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: Angst and shoenen-ai. Also OOCness but, well... you know...  
DISCLAIMER: A single spotlight illuminates Heero who is standing in the middle of the stage.   
Heero: ...  
Petra: Hee-chan, psst! Your lines!  
Heero: ... *glare*   
Petra: Hee-chan... remember... blackmail? *holds up steamy pictures of Heero and Duo*  
Heero: *glare* Petra, the great and wonderful fanfiction author... *snort* Who deserves tons of praise and worship, doesn't own Gundam Wing, but she does own this wonderful story which deserves praise and worship." *teeth are now clenched tightly together* That's the end. Remember, praise and worship are requested.   
Kati: Demanded!   
Petra: Get back in that box.   
Heero: *sneaks away in the commotion, taking pictures with him*  
  
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If You Could: If I Could Die for Every Tear  
  
"They were lost in hell with no wishes to be found. After all, it was love." -0083; Lost (GW)  
  
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Quatre was playing his violin in the next room as he let his thoughts drift. He remembered how impressed he'd been when he'd seen where they'd be staying and then slightly suspicious when it had just happened the apartment Heero was staying in had only one other bedroom meaning only Duo could stay with him while Trowa, Wufei, and himself were put across the hall.   
  
Quatre wasn't stupid. He'd seen the way Duo had looked at Heero before Heero had lost any memories, it had seemed like the only one who hadn't noticed was Heero himself. For a while, Quatre was sure that Duo only had a crush on a pretty face but, then, when Heero had disappeared, he'd finally realized exactly how deeply Duo had been drowning as he'd watched the other boy almost starve himself and smile so unconvincingly that even Wufei knew it was an act.  
  
Now… the way Heero was acting around Duo was strange and new. Quatre had asked Wufei to translate the little nicknames that Heero called Duo but the other boy, much to the Arabian's surprise, had flushed and said that he didn't know what they mean. 'Liar.' Quatre thought for the hundredth time. So, he'd looked them up and he'd nearly died from shock. 'Love'? 'Lover'? Even 'my heart'? 'My soul'?!  
  
It was nice, though, to see someone like Heero have a chance at a new life. Quatre's smile faltered and his music changed from thoughtful to sad. 'If only we could all do that, just forget everything that happened…' He opened his eyes only to have the string of violin and bow scrap against each other with a screech that made him shiver, as he noticed Heero watching him intently.   
  
"You know, you can almost tell what you're thinking about when you play; your music reflects your emotions," Heero walked toward Quatre but, as he was passing a piano he stopped, turning toward the sleek black instrument and running light fingers over it. "I wish I could play the piano but, I suppose, J didn't think it would be relevant for any missions, ne?"   
  
Quatre carefully put the violin in the case and put the case back on the shelf before finally turning to Heero who was staring at the piano as if it held all of life's mysteries. "One of my earliest and only memories," Heero said, a faraway look in his eyes, "Is of Odin Lowe telling me that I should take piano lessons because I had the hands for it." He turned to Quatre. "I don't believe I got those lessons because when I stare at the keys there's… nothing. I don't know what happened to Odin Lowe either or exactly when I quit being Odin Lowe Jr. and became Heero Yuy; for all I know he could be alive, could be the next person one of us kills…"  
  
Quatre had to ask, "If you could, would you choose to have your memories back?"   
  
Heero stared at Quatre in surprise for a moment before looking thoughtfully up at the ceiling. "It would matter what was happening at the moment, what had happened, stuff like that. I would choose 'no' right now, for I don't really need them. I sometimes wish I didn't have this huge blank where my life used to be but other times, just the mere fact that most of life hasn't come back, is enough to know that I probably won't want them back."  
  
"What kind of stuff do you remember?"  
  
Heero smiled and Quatre, though he had seen it extremely often, still felt slightly caught off-guard. "A few moments spent with Odin Lowe, who was either my real father or adopted father… but, mostly, of you guys."  
  
Quatre smiled and couldn't help teasing, "Probably a certain American in particular…"  
  
Heero blushed and Quatre eye's almost popped out of his head. 'Jesus Christ, but he's cute when he blushes!' Quatre couldn't help thinking and then immediately blushed, feeling guilt when he thought of Trowa. "Now," Heero said, the blush still lingering on his cheeks, "What did you just blush about?"  
  
This caused Quatre to blush some more and Heero laughed, a sound that Quatre still found surprisingly nice to hear. It was low and sweet and Quatre was very glad that he had found Trowa, because if he hadn't he could definitely have fallen for Heero. He sighed and then looked at Heero before saying, "So, what's wrong Heero?"   
  
Heero looked up surprise before looking down at his feet. "Dozo… How did you know I lo- liked Duo-koi?"   
  
"You don't try to hid it." Quatre hadn't missed that way he had stumbled for a moment and Quatre couldn't help but be surprised that he could be so sure. "And then there are those little nicknames."  
  
"Just the nicknames?" Heero asked, and Quatre was surprised at the worry he could hear in Japanese boy's voice.   
  
"Well… no…" he could actually see Heero relax. "Why are you worried that we can't tell?"  
  
"Because if you can't tell, Duo-koi can't tell and I *really* want Duo-koi to know how I feel… but I don't think he does…"   
  
"He does."   
  
This made Heero look up in surprise and reply, "Demo… I mean, but he doesn't act like it!"  
  
The anger and hurt in the boy's voice shocked Quatre. "He's afraid," Quatre said, defending his friend. "Do you have any idea what you did to him before you lost your memories?!" Ignoring the pain that he knew he was causing he barged forward, saying what he knew he needed to say. "He came downstairs one day, with a black eye, and when I asked him about it he said that a shelf had come loose while he was sleeping and hit him!" Quatre knew he was getting carried away, but he couldn't stop himself. "I had to sit there and take that lie, because I didn't want to hurt Duo more than he was hurting! I had to smile and laugh, while I saw the way his eyes stayed on you as you left with so much as a good-bye!" Quatre turned his eyes away from the figure of Heero looking at the floor to the window. "I had to make sure he ate, that he didn't get too thin, when you would leave on a mission, or try to commit suicide… or when we thought you were dead…" He couldn't help the tears that came to his eyes and he was surprise to find Heero step in front of him and pull him close as he started to cry.  
  
"Quatre-kun… I'm so sorry… If I could die for every single tear that fell from his eyes, I would… but I can't change who I was, only who I am now," Heero whispered, gently stroking Quatre's back in a soothing motion.  
  
"I was so scared for him. So scared that he would do something dangerous, so scared that when we were fighting he would take an uncalculated risk. He did, though they weren't nearly as risky as what I thought they would be, but I still saw it there."  
  
"Quatre-kun…" Heero said, pushing Quatre's chin up so that the blonde would meet his eyes. "There are no words to describe how sorry I am and how much it hurts to know I did that. Don't think I don't know, either, what I did. I asked Arte-chan, who somehow seems to know everything, to tell me every single little thing I did to hurt him and she named them all. Every one of those times, though I don't remember them, I do know of them, every detail… I have them memorized and for each time I did something that made him hurt, I plan to give him ten times that in joy…"  
  
Quatre was surprised and didn't hide it as Heero stepped back and looked out the window. "I love him enough that, if he told me he loved someone else, I would smile for him and wish him all the happiness in the world."  
  
"Do you know what was the worst thing to watch?" Trowa's voice startled both Quatre and Heero who turned around in surprise.   
  
Heero shook his head, as Trowa walked up to wrap his arms around Quatre's waist.   
  
"Watching him loving you," Trowa said, watching as the other boy gazed at him in surprise. "Watching him loving you and watching him think that you didn't love him in return, could never love him in return. Watching him lose hope… watching him trying desperately to keep hope…"  
  
Heero suddenly stood up straight and nodded, saying, "I know that I did these things. I know that I hurt him… well, a lot... but I'm not going to feel guilty about something I did that I don't remember, or that I can't change."  
  
They stood there for a moment, staring out the window at the disappearing sun, watching as the sky was streaked with brilliant reds and violets. Heero suddenly started as he remembered why he was there in the first place.  
  
"Good goddess!" he exclaimed, making Quatre and Trowa look at him surprise. "I came here to give you something…"   
  
Quatre turned to Trowa and mouthed 'good goddess' with his eyebrows raised in question; Trowa only gave a clueless shrug, obviously as confused as Quatre.  
  
"Um… Heero, why did you just say 'good goddess'?" Quatre asked, as Heero continued to search through his pockets.   
  
"Did I?" Heero asked, without looking up and then continued before they could answer. "I must've picked it up from Arte-chan, she's always saying weird things like that. I don't know, it has a nice ring and I'm not using God's name in vain so I figured, why the hell not?"  
  
Quatre and Trowa just stared at him blankly but, before either could comment on the strangeness of Heero, he suddenly smiled triumphantly and pulled out two necklaces, one red and one gold.   
  
He separated them and then held the gold one out to Quatre who stared in awe at the beauty before him. A beautiful white-blue glass unicorn seemed to be huddled beneath something that wasn't there, its eyes staring at something that only it could see. Tiny, perfect sapphires were used for the eyes and the detail was so breathtaking that Quatre was sure he could see every individual hair hanging down from its tail. It hung from a golden chain that, for some strange reason, made Quatre think of Sandrock.  
  
As he was about to reach out to get it, Heero held up the other one, this one on a red chain. Again, Quatre was struck breathless and, when he looked at Trowa, he saw the other boy was awestruck too. A light green glass pegasus had one wing tucked along its back and the other seemed to be cradling something invisible while it nuzzled that same invisible thing. It was as finely detailed as the unicorn, to the point that you could see individual feathers on its wings. Its eyes were made out of tiny, perfect emeralds. Before either could make a move, a secret smile crossed Heero's face, causing them both to look at each other before turning back to Heero.  
  
"Heero… why are you smiling like that?" Quatre asked.  
  
"These figures were made from a glass rose that was green and blue. Once, long ago, a man bought a beautiful glass rose for the woman he loved. When he gave it to her, she said that she would rather have something he had made, so he melted the glass and made these. The chains are made from gundanium, the red from Heavyarms and the gold from Sandrock." Then, watching them carefully, he put the two necklaces together so that the green pegasus was gently cradling the blue unicorn, both nuzzling their noses together gently.  
  
"Oh… they're… they're… beautiful…" Quatre said.  
  
"Arte-chan gave these to me and said that I was to give them to you and to say… let me see…" He paused for a minute as he tried to remember exactly what his friend had said. "Oh yeah! She said: 'Tro-kun, Quat-kun, I just wanted to give you the best wishes in all the worlds. Anyone who has these twin necklaces are meant to be together, just like how I know you're supposed to.' So, she got them for you."  
  
He held them out to them but, before Quatre could take them, Trowa did, pulling them gently apart. "Here," the taller boy said, unclasping the blue unicorn's gold clasp. "Let me put it on for you." Heero smiled and then quietly left the room, the last thing he saw was the tall boy bending down to gently kiss the golden boy. Though he knew Duo hadn't told him 'no' yet, in fact everyone else was telling him 'yes', he still couldn't help the gentle stab of pain and uncertainty that pricked his heart.   
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: ^_^ So, what'd you think? I know this is rather pointless, but in reality it's a chance to show how the pilots are reacting the Heero 5.0. ^_^ *laugh*   
Kati: *clothes and hair are messed up* You little brat!  
Petra: Ah, admit it! You missed me...  
Kati: *grudgingly* Maybe a little...  
Petra: ^_^ See! Oh, and for those that read the disclaimer. *holds up small black strips* I still have the negatives. *loud curses are heard off-stage* Now, it's time for some hiding! See ya next time!  
Kati: *being dragged by Petra* REVIEW GODDAMNIT!!!  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	13. Words on Paper and Stories in Books

Petra: I have a new obsession! *laugh*   
Kati: This time at least my favorite character gets a part in it!  
Petra: Oh shush! I thought you were mad at me for reading those fics anyways!  
Kati: Hey! Any naked Trowa is a good naked Trowa... even if he is naked with Duo!  
Petra: *laugh* And there you have it people. I have new couple that I'm seriously interested in! I don't know if I'll ever write anything but... well... *shrug* They're so cute!  
Kati: *sweatdrop*  
  
DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: Slight angst.  
DISCLAIMER: Petra: *finishes dumping gasoline on ground* Okay, Kati! Hit it!  
Kati: *lights a match* Burn, baby, burn. *scary smile* *laugh* *drops match*  
Petra: *watches as letters blaze up which say: I don't own Gundam Wing* Well, there you have it!  
  
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If You Could: Words on Paper and Stories in Books  
  
"There comes a point in life when all you are is an aggregation of stories and fragmented memories." -Laura Hudson; Things Hoped For (SM)  
  
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When he got back to his own apartment he found a note taped to the door scrawled in hasty English. 'Gone out on mission. I'll be back in time for dinner and will be expecting to taste your cooking. Duo.' He sighed and took the note off the door, gently folding it and placing it in his back pocket. He'd really wanted to give Duo the necklace now but it looked like he would have to wait. On top of the fact that he had lost his patience with his memory, he was also worried about Duo.   
  
"Odin-kun!" the cheerful voice made him look up to see Artemis standing with another one of her friends, this one with brown hair held in a high ponytail.  
  
"HEERO-KUN!!" the other girl cried, launching herself at Heero and scooping the small boy in a tight hug.  
  
"Odin-kun, this is Iris. She's another friend of mine," Artemis said, laughing as Heero tried to take in gasping breaths that never seemed to fill his lungs. At that moment the taller girl seemed to realize exactly what she was doing and she let go of Heero, her face flushing extremely red.  
  
Heero bent over for a minute, taking in huge gulps of air as Artemis simply watched, hidden laughter twinkling in her eyes. When he came up the girl was standing almost behind Artemis, staring at him with wide eyes and a blushing face.  
  
"Um… Hi," Heero said, watching her warily. She smiled at him and, he realized with embarrassment, that it was a rather love-stricken smile... sorta like that of Relena. "Um… what brings you here?" Artemis blinked in surprise.  
  
"What?" she said, pretending to be hurt, "I not allowed to visit my cute friend without a reason?"  
  
Heero felt himself blushing unwillingly against the compliment, but held firm and asked, "Well…?"  
  
She sighed, blowing hair out of her face, before replying, "Actually, Iris-chan and I thought that maybe there was something we could do to help you…" She winked suggestively and Heero felt himself blush again. Hmm… maybe this showing emotion things wasn't that good after all…  
  
"Iie…" he trailed off as he remembered his talk with Quatre just a few moments before. "Actually… could you teach me to play piano?"  
  
There was no surprise, as he had thought there might be, but then again he had never seen Artemis surprised, so he didn't know why he still expected her to be. "Sure, Iris-chan will help. There's already a piano waiting out on your balcony." Heero didn't know why he was shocked, he should have known she would know exactly what he wanted.   
  
They all walked out the balcony, Heero keeping a wary gaze on Iris who looked ready to pounce any moment. He stopped, though, as soon as he saw the beautiful piano that stood before him. It was a dark blue and silver, and so gorgeous that the hand he ran across it almost trembled. Something in his fingers tingled and he pulled away, staring with wide eyes at the hand and then, finally, noticed the floor behind the hand. It was no longer a floor, as the huge balcony had been carpeted in grass that was glowing despite there being no ground and there was even some medium-sized trees to give them shade. How could he not have noticed… then he stared at the piano and, for a moment, he forgot about the beauty around him, yet again.  
  
"It's beautiful…" he said, walking around it to find, to his surprise, a swing between two trees. He turned to say thank you but found that Artemis was walking inside while Iris was moving closer. She sat down on the swing and patted the seat next to her, saying, "Sit. Please."  
  
She didn't appear nearly as love-struck as before, now gazing at the city that lay around them. "You know, the first moment I saw you, I knew you were someone special." The statement startled Heero and he looked up in surprise. "Then, as I watched you grow up, watched as you became so strong despite all the odds…" she trailed off, turning to him. "I made the most awful mistake anyone could make. I fell in love."  
  
Heero felt a slow and steady blush stain his cheeks at this soft declaration. Relena's, the few he remembered, had always been quick and hard, never making him believe it. This woman, on the other hand, was soft and quiet, the love shining in her eyes.  
  
He opened his mouth to say something but she put her finger to his lips, "I know you don't love me. You don't even know me. You would never even find me attractive." Her finger drew away slowly, as she turned thoughtful, "I couldn't even be with you, even if you could have felt the same way… I did that once and it killed something inside me when he died. He was wonderful, his eyes were just like yours… but his hair was a blazing red." She slowly put her hand on one side of his face. "Heero…" she whispered and then, gently, she turned the other cheek toward her and kissed it. "I want you to be happy and, if it's not with me, than so be it. If you ever need help just call." Then she kissed him gently on the forehead, her eyes teary as she pulled away. "Ai shiteru, Heero Yuy," she whispered, her voice so soft he wasn't even sure if he actually heard her. Then she stood and walked out of the small haven Artemis had created.   
  
He sat for a long time, gazing out across the sky, until he felt a cool hand on his shoulder and Artemis sat next to him. "What are you thinking about?" she asked, pulling him against her, like a mother would do.  
  
"I don't know…" A pause. "Actually, I was thinking about Duo and what I would do if he responded to me like I responded to Iris." The mere thought of it made his entire being shake and made his eyes water.  
  
Artemis smiled sadly, placing a kiss atop his head. "Iris-chan would never have told you if she thought for a moment you would return the feeling, so it didn't matter. If you could have felt the same way, she would never have told you." She ran long fingers through his hair, as his eyelids fluttered. "We're not allowed to love anyone like that…" His eyes closed and, before he could ask why, Heero was sleeping.   
  
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Artemis saw a small drop of water fall onto Heero's bent head, blinking in surprise, and brought one hand up to her face, startled to find tears there.   
  
Warm arms wrapped around her from behind and she felt a sob catch in her throat, as more tears fell on top of Heero's hair, glittering there. "You're still upset about Hestia no baka, aren't you?" Hebe asked and, when Artemis nodded, she said, "You can't let it get to you. You always knew she was an asshole." At Artemis's small whimper, Hebe sighed, "I know you thought you saw something there… but in the end she destroyed herself." Hebe could feel the anger boil up within her as she thought about the smaller woman.  
  
The way Hestia had tried as much as possible to try to get Heero away from Duo and Quatre away from Trowa, all the times Heero and Duo could have met beforehand. All those lost days… and now it was getting so close to being almost too late, that Artemis didn't know what to do. She wanted to cry until she couldn't cry anymore, she wanted to scream until her throat went hoarse, or she wanted to hit someone, preferably Hestia, until she couldn't feel this raging pain that seemed to fill every inch of her being.  
  
Hebe sighed, looking down at the two people she held. One a boy whose midnight eyes caused her best friend such pain and joy, a young man who had seen too much in too short a time. The other her best friend, a woman who had almost lost all hope and who had suffered and seen so much Hebe was surprised she hadn't snapped yet.   
  
"Hestia is getting her just rewards now, the Fates will see to that…" Hebe whispered, feeling tears prick her own eyes. They hadn't know each other at all, but it still hurt to know that they had, yet again, lost another one of their group. First all the males… now, slowly but surely, each other.   
  
"What do you think happens to them?" Artemis asked, looking up at Hebe with eyes that tore the smaller girl's heart.   
  
"I think…" Hebe said, a thoughtful look on her face, "I believe… that it matters on what we were like. If we were kind and tried hard to bring justice, like Dionysus, then we will be turned mortal and able to live a life without all these horrors. If we were petty and unkind, like Zeus, we will simply disappear…"  
  
"I'm going to disappear…" Artemis whispered, her eyes unseeing.  
  
"No!" Hebe said, grabbing Artemis's face so that the other girl had to look at her. "You one of the few people I know who try so hard to be… kind and nice to everyone, to understand without judging… you'll get a second chance at life… I know you will…"  
  
Artemis smiled, knowing her friend wouldn't lie to her and she said, "Yes, we'll all be reborn together and get to know each other again… to live a normal life. And these tales will just be words on paper and stories in books." She shifted so that she could look lovingly down at the young man she held cradled in her arms. "And, all our sacrifices, all the things we fought for, they will live on in the ones who unknowingly carry our blood through their veins."  
  
Then they sat and watched the sun rise and fall a million times, the moon wax and wane a thousand times, while the minute hand on the clock simply ticked from the eleven to the twelve. Then, Hebe stood silently and said, "I'd better go and you'd better wake Heero-kun so you can give him his piano 'lessons'!" She smiled a secret smile and Artemis answered her friend back with one of her own before Hebe left, the smell of raspberries the only proof of her being there.   
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Kati: So, did you guys like? Actually, this chapter's kind of crap-ass...  
Petra: Which is why I'm posting another one! *laugh*   
Kati: I don't mean crap-ass in, you know, that sense, but in the sense that you don't get to see enough Duo or Heero!  
Petra: Don't worry, though! We more than make up for it in the next chappy! Lots of emotional Duo-torture awaits!  
Kati: So don't forget to tune into...  
Petra: Next month's exciting new episode of...  
Petra & Kati: *in unison* Days of a Gundams' Lives!  
Kati: *hysterical laughter*  
Petra: *snort* We are so weird... Anyways, thanks to all you who reviewed:  
  
DREAM KEEPER: Hey, babe! *laugh* I know you've been wanting this chappie for... well... ever, so here it is! I hope you enjoy it! The next one's more fun though!  
HIKARU: 3 days...? -_-;;;;; Umm... Sorry! Gomen nasai! *bows deeply* I am soooooo sorry. Life has been so hectic and my internet is so slow... but now I have the school's 'net, so don't worry!  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	14. A Painful Dinner

Petra: I want Heero to sing for me!  
Kati: Oh, for gods' sakes! Get over it! *grumble* We should have written more Trowa in...  
Petra: *sticks tongue out* It's not my fault that we didn't find the joys of Trowa and Duo until now.  
Kati: Doesn't matter, I'll still blame it on you!  
Petra: *sigh* Well, go enjoy the Duo torture!  
  
DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: Slight angst and sap alert! Oh, and emotional Duo-torture. C'mon! Admit it! You like to watch him squirm as much as I do!  
DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'em!  
  
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If You Could: A... Painful Dinner  
  
"You cannot know Heaven unless you know Hell." -0083; The Perfect Escape (GW)  
  
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NOTE: If you really like this, you should definately go read the fic the above quote is from. It's a wonderful fic that has the cutest ending!  
  
"Odin-kun… Odin-kun…" the voice broke through the memory he'd been dreaming about, the memory of a shirtless Duo wearing short-shorts, dancing and singing while he cleaned the counter of the mess he'd made. The way he'd looked up and, in mid-word, stopped, staring in surprise at Heero who couldn't move, couldn't breath. There, the memory abruptly ended as it let him escape from the dregs of sleep and, he knew without a doubt, that he'd simply walked away from that surprised, half-naked Duo and, in the process, he'd fractured not only blue but violet as well.  
  
"Odin-kun, would you like those piano lessons now?" Artemis said, and Heero blinked owlishly at her, letting his mind turn away from the image of Duo's hurt expression.   
  
"H-Hai…" Heero said, pushing himself up and out of Artemis's motherly arms. 'I bet that's how it feels to be held by a mother…'  
  
"Okay, come over this way. By the way, there's a piano in your bedroom now." There was nothing to say to that.  
  
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Duo trudged out of the elevator and into the hallway, cursing slightly as the muscle in his right shoulder screamed at even that little movement. "Stupid enemies, wish they'd just quit so we didn't have to fight anymore…"  
  
As he reached the door he was surprised to find it cracked open and soft music floating out through the slightly open door. At first it was just a piano, its notes drifting softly in the air but, right as a Duo closed the door, the pianist began to sing.   
  
"Moetsukia chihei no kanata Hitosuji no asahi ga kagayaku Kizutsuitemo egao wo wasurenai Itsuka aeru ashita wo sagasou…" the beautiful voice trailed off for a moment and few keys were played, almost experimentally. Duo took a step further, intent on finding who was singing, when the male voice started again, and Duo's whole body froze. "Sayonara higashi no sora he tabidatsu tori yo Sekai wa itsumo omae no subete wo tsutsumu…" Again the person trailed off and Duo put his bag and hat down on the table, walking quietly down the hall it appeared to be coming from. He froze, yet again, as the entrancing music filled the hallway. "Namida sae nakushita asa ni Mou ishido nani ka ga hajimaru…" Short pause, so short that Duo could only take one step before it started again. "Oikaketemo todokanai mono nara Inochi kakete kono te ni tsukamou." It stopped and again came the music playing that seemed almost experimental. Duo walked down the hall, listening for the music and found, much to his surprise, that it was coming from behind Heero's door.  
  
Careful, so as not to make any noise, he opened the door, slipped in, and shut it behind him. His eyes widened as he saw Heero, facing away from him, playing on a piano that hadn't been in his room before. Then, Heero opened his mouth, "Flying away kokoro no mama ni todeyukitai Flying away kimi no tame nara sora wo kakeyou… flying… Sayonara higashi no sora he tabidatsu tori yo Sekai wa itsumo omae wo matteita hazu Flying away kaze ni dakarete tondeyukitai Flying away kimi no tame nara jiyuu ni nareru… flying…" Duo was entranced as he watched Heero's graceful fingers fly over the keys, making music and then could only stand there as Heero stopped and sighed.  
  
"Duo-koi should be home by now…" Heero sighed and Duo perked at his name. "Megami-sama, itsu okaeri ni narimasu ka." (Translation: "Goddess, when will he be back?") He shook his head then and said, almost as though trying to convince himself of something, "Sugu modori masu…" (Translation: "He'll be back soon…") At that moment he turned around and let out a cry of surprise, as he noticed Duo in the doorway. Getting up quickly, he said, "Ogenki desu ka."   
  
At Duo's puzzled look Heero laughed and looked the other boy over. "I asked, 'Are you well?'."  
  
Duo smiled bashfully and replied, "Yeah, I'm fine."  
  
"Good!" Heero said, and then proceeded to tackle Duo whose entire strength focused on keeping them upright. "Koibito, I was so worried."   
  
"You never worried about me before…" Duo said, beginning to feel tears prick his eyes again.  
  
Heero snorted, pushing Duo away and grinned, saying, "Am I that good of an actor? I worried every time you went out and, though you didn't see me, I checked for your wounds every time you came in."  
  
'Every time…' Duo's brain focused on the two words and clung to them almost desperately.   
  
Heero took Duo's hand in his own and said, "Come one, dinner's all ready. I didn't know what you liked so I made a chicken and rice casserole, a really good recipe that Arte-chan taught me."   
  
As Heero dragged Duo down the hall, the American suddenly realized what was happening and asked, "When did you learn how to play the piano?"  
  
"This afternoon, Arte-chan taught me." For some reason, this time when Heero said her name, Duo felt a twinge of jealousy.   
  
"You can't learn how to play the piano in one day," Duo replied.  
  
"I did. I don't know, Arte-chan placed her hand over my heart," there was that twinge of jealousy again, "And then she spoke some words in a language I don't know. After that, I knew how to do it."  
  
Heero let go of Duo so that he could put the food on the table and Duo watched him, feelings himself gulp as he realized what the other boy was wearing. Heero's hair was loose, as it was usually when he wasn't going outside. The Japanese boy was wearing jeans that were so worn they were torn in some places and clung like a second skin. His shirt had its sleeves torn off to bare his muscular arms and was slightly too short so that Duo could see Heero's smooth belly. 'Shit!'  
  
At that moment Heero reached up to get something off the top shelf, making his shirt rise to show a smooth expanse of golden muscular back. 'Double shit!' Duo went and sat down quickly, trying hard to keep his breathing normal. "So… um… 'Ro… what was that song you were singin'?" Heero was just placing the dish on the table when he asked and Duo was surprised to see a blush spread over the other's cheeks. 'Good God almighty, he's HOT when he blushes!'  
  
"Actually… I just made it up…" Heero said, sitting down in the seat next to Duo instead of across from him and reached across the table to get the plate set there. Duo got an extremely tantalizing glimpse of bare stomach and back, jeans that were sitting a little lower than was normal.   
  
Tearing his eyes away from the view he widened them and asked, "What? That was beautiful, 'Ro. What was it about?"  
  
Again that blush and then a dreamy look before he replied, "Flying away." Heero turned and smiled, making Duo's heart skip a beat. Duo smiled hesitantly back and Heero whispered, "Hora kimi ni ha egao ga itsumo niau yo…" (Translation: "Look, that smile looks great on you.")  
  
"Wha?"   
  
Heero shook his head, as though clearing his thoughts and replied, "Nothing…" Then his eyes widened, as though remembering something. "Oh yeah! Excuse me." Then he was reaching to the other side of Duo, who went stock still has he felt that body slide against his chest. After what seemed like an eternity, Heero leaned back, holding a box in his hand.  
  
"What's that?" Duo asked, immediately inquisitive.   
  
"Look and see. It's for you." Heero held it out to Duo, a strange look in his eyes.   
  
Duo opened the bow and gasped in surprise. A beautiful dolphin made of gold was jumping out of the water that formed a lopsided triangle. The waves almost rippled on the water and he could almost see the dolphin as it fell back to the sea. "There's a story that goes with it…" Heero was watching him closely, making Duo nod slowly.  
  
"It's said that Dionysus, the Greek god of wine, fell in love with a beautiful woman. She said she didn't love him though and he fell into despair but, he loved her so truly, that he went to Aphrodite and asked, not for something to make her fall in love, but something that would help her find the man who would make her happy. Aphrodite, surprised by this request, did as he asked and gave him two small dolphin pendants, one gold, the other silver. He presented her with the gifts and told her what they would do. Men came from all around, trying on the silver pendant and nothing happened. Finally, after five years, Dionysus begged her to let him try the pendant. She did so, as he had sworn on the Styx that it wasn't a trick and, as he clasped it in place, they both lit up and suddenly glass water appeared under them in such a way, that, when the two necklaces were placed together they formed a heart. From then on it was said that whoever had the necklace would fine the one they truly love and, when they put it on, and it glowed, that would mean the other necklace had been found by their soulmate and it was just waiting for the other to find it. I couldn't find the other one so…" Duo was barely aware that Heero was watching him intently. "Here… let me put it on, koibito." Heero didn't wait for Duo to nod but stood up and went behind him, during which Duo, as though in a daze, pulled his hair over his shoulder.   
  
Heero and Duo both felt their breathing halt as Heero's knuckles brushed against Duo's nape, as he clasped the necklace. As he did so, Heero noticed that the middle of his chest started to glow silver, right as Duo's dolphin began to glow golden. " 'Ro, it's glowin'…" Duo whispered, slightly in awe.   
  
Heero nodded slowly, sitting back in his seat as the glowing around his neck stopped, the American's necklace still glowing slightly. "Hai…"  
  
Duo looked at Heero, trying to see if anything was glowing, but felt his heart plummet as he noticed the other boy was beginning to serve both their plates. 'Doesn't he care that the necklace is saying there's somebody else out there for me…' Duo closed his eyes and then opened them again as he came to a decision. 'I don't care if he cares or not, I going to enjoy this and pretend it's a date.' Thus, the meal commenced.  
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: Yum! I love Duo torture!  
Kati: And you say that I'm the sadist!  
Petra: You are! You like to see REAL guys in pain, I just like to see fake guys in emotional pain.  
Kati: Oh! That is so not true! What about all the crap you put your boy-toy through.  
Petra: *contemplates for a minute* You have a point. Fine, I just like to put them through emotional pain. I think it's cute...  
Kati: And you say *I'm* screwed up...  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	15. Breakfast in Bed

Petra: Well... here it is, part # 15. We're getting really close to the end there's... *counts of fingers* 3 more parts!  
Kati: *confused* You have 18 fingers?  
Petra: No, I imagine I do!  
Kati: Uh... okay...  
Petra: Anyways, I'm semi-working on getting a website set up that should be up semi-soon. Um... maybe...  
Kati: *scoff* Since you're not actually making the layouts.   
Petra: Tried that, took up tons of my time and I never even published it. There are tons of people out there who spend their time making lovelier layouts than me. Why shouldn't I use them if the people want me to.  
Kati: *sigh* Why did I get stuck with such an uncreative bitch...  
Petra: Kati... *growls*  
Kati: I can take you anyday! *gets in fighting stance*  
Petra: You guys don't want to see this, do you? ... ... ... Well, I don't care! You're not seeing it! Go! Read! *turns to Kati*  
  
DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: Dude, people, if you have realized that Heero's crushing on Duo and vice versa, you have a serious problem.   
DISCLAIMER: *a picture is shown with most of it covered, the only things that show are the words on the bottom which read: Petra doesn't own anything but the women!* And, now, a present for those of your who actually read these! *uncovers top half which shows a picture taken slightly behind and to the left of Heero* *both Duo and Heero are half naked and Heero is kissing Duo's neck as the other boy throws his head back, long golden-brown hair flowing down his back* Mmmmm... *drool* Half-naked bishies....  
Heero: PETRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMAE O KOROSU!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Duo: Damn! Do you have more pictures like that?  
Heero: Koi!  
Petra: *nods* You want copies?  
Duo: *nods enthusiastically*  
Heero: Koi?  
Petra: You'll have to pay ten bucks...  
Duo: Sure!  
Heero: KOI?!  
Duo: What?  
Heero: You're... you're... fraternizing with the enemy!  
Petra: *confused* I'm not the enemy... I just own a P.I.'s soul and used that fact to make him work for me...  
Duo: Wow! Really?  
Heero: BAKA!!! *storms out*  
Petra: *stares after* What's his problem?  
Duo: *shrug* Hell if I know. *hands Petra money* So, do I get this picture too?  
Petra: *sad* Can't I keep just this one? *sniffle*  
Duo: *shrug* Sure, but if 'Ro asks, you didn't have my permission!  
Petra: Yay!  
Kati: *whining* What about Trowa?  
  
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If You Could: Breakfast in Bed  
  
"God gave us memories that we might have roses in December." -J. M. Barrie  
  
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Duo awoke groggily, the smell of French toast, bacon, and eggs penetrating his brain. "Huh?" he murmured, blinking quickly as the smiling face of Heero came into view.  
  
"Kokoro, I have a treat for you." He then placed a tray filled with breakfast on the table beside him. "Why don't you sit up?"   
  
Duo obeyed, staring in delighted surprise at the feast. Heero just stood there, one eyebrow cocked and Duo asked, "Wha?"  
  
"Well, scoot over, I'm not going to stand and eat," Heero said, and Duo obeyed again, not really understanding until Heero slipped one bare leg under the blankets and sat next to him. Duo felt his eyes widen and Heero grabbed the tray and placed it over both their legs. The Japanese boy turned and smiled, or almost smiled as his eyes turned suddenly dark as he realized that Duo's nose was almost touching his. Duo blushed at that look, not really sure what it meant, but turned quickly to his food.   
  
"Wow! 'Ro, this looks really good!" Heero smiled at that, his eyes returning to normal, and he began to eat also. At one point Duo got syrup on his fingers and began to lick it off, only to freeze as that look entered Heero's eyes. Duo laughed though, and Heero lost The Look, his own rich voice joining in with Duo. At one point Duo laughingly presented Heero a piece of French-toast which, to his surprise, Heero took, licking his lips as a shadow of The Look entered his eyes before disappearing as he offered Duo a piece of his French-toast. Duo took it, grinning, happy with what was happening and feeling the warmth of the dolphin as it spread to his cross and up his neck.   
  
Heero, at one point, at one of Duo's jokes, grabbed Duo's right shoulder at which Duo let out a curse and jumped, almost knocking all their food to the floor. "Koibito, daijoubu desu ka."   
  
Duo, rubbing his shoulder, stared at Heero with wide eyes, before saying, " 'Ro, I have no idea what you just said."  
  
Heero laughed softly, the worry still evident in his eyes, before he said, "I asked, 'Daijoubu desu ka' which means, 'are you alright?'; here's a hint to the Japanese language. Anything that ends in 'desu ka' means that it's a question." He paused, before lifting his hand to brush a piece of hair out of Duo's face. "So, are you alright?"  
  
Duo felt his breathing stop for a moment and he managed to whisper, "Yeah, my shoulder just hurts. I took a bit of a nasty fall on yesterday's mission and bruised it."  
  
"Ah," Heero said, staring Duo intently for a moment before looking back at their food. "Are you done?"  
  
Duo blinked at the abrupt change in questioning but nodded, as Heero masterfully managed to get off the bed and pick the tray up at the same time. "I'll be right back," Heero said over his shoulder, as he opened the door, "You stay right there."  
  
When Heero came back he was holding some oil and he told Duo, without preamble, "Lay on your stomach." (AN: Dirty minded hentais!!!! Down!!!)  
  
"What?"   
  
"Lay on your stomach, Duo-koi. I won't hurt you," Heero said and then watched as Duo lay hesitantly down, watching him with wary eyes. "Great goddesses, I'm not going to bite, kokoro." Then, as an afterthought, Heero added, "At least not hard."  
  
Duo laughed nervously then tensed as Heero say down on the small of his back. "First off," Heero said, watching Duo's face. "The shirt has got to go." Duo's eyes went wide as Heero, with gentle fingers, pulled Duo's shirt over his shoulders and head before throwing it carelessly on the floor. Duo listened as Heero covered his hands with oil before gently beginning to rub Duo's back. Duo couldn't help the small groan that broke out as Heero eased away the ache that had bothered him all night.  
  
"I didn't know you knew how to give massages," Duo said, drifting happily in a world full of mist and Heero.  
  
"I didn't either; I was just seeing if I could do it," Heero said, watching as Duo's eyes opened in surprise before closing, yet again, in contentment. Heero smiled to himself as he felt and heard Duo's breathing slow and then start the regular pattern of sleep.   
  
"Ai shiteru…" a brief memory of a happy Duo, smiling a little brighter, after Heero had told the American he had no feelings for Relena and of the conversation beforehand teased Heero's mind. Heero smiled, leaning down and planting a small kiss upon the tip of Duo's nose, making it scrunch up slightly, as Heero whispered, "Toki hanatsu no nara ima. Subete wo kakete miro kyou ga…" (Translation: "So if you are going to set me free, try betting everything on it now… for today is the…") He paused for a moment before finishing in English, "Last chance." Then, slowly, so as not to wake Duo up, he got out of bed and left.  
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: Done!  
Kati: *laugh* For those of you who didn't read the disclaimer GO DO IT!!! You'll be happy you did.  
Petra: Half-naked bishies... I mean, how can you pass that up?  
Kati: Though... I have a complaint! There wasn't any Trowa!  
Petra: Oh god... *sigh* I'm sorry to to do this to you... *pulls out pink lemonade*  
Kati: DON'T YOU DARE, YOU-  
Petra: *drinks* Ah. That was good.  
Kati: *wide-eyed* Good! Good!  
Petra: *laugh* Pink lemonade is to muses what catnip is to cats!  
Kati: CATS?! WHERE?! *runs away screaming "HERE KITTY KITTY"*  
Petra: -_-; So... um... review...  
  
VIOLET YUY-MAXWELL: ^_^ Made you want to cry? Really? Wow. Then don't go and read any of my other stuff. This is really one of my less depressive fics and I'd hate to see what would happen if you read something else. ^_^;   
STARFALL13: Yay! Unique! I am Unique! (Kati: That's ONE way of saying it!) Hey!  
DREAM KEEPER: Okay, the smell idea is just something that I put in; in other words, it's their signature perfurmes. For example, Artemis has Vanilla becuase A) that's the perfume the girl she's based on uses and B) for some reason, it fits with the fact that Artemis was the goddess of the hunt.  
DREAM KEEPER(again): *laugh* I punish Duo because, admit it, everyone likes reading about it! That's me, all right! The stories behind the necklaces are something that I made up. Originally, I was going to do this huge arc of crossovers, and this story was going to be the prelude to the Sailor Moon/Gundam Wing crossover. But, well, that story idea got shot to hell when I got different story ideas. Oh, and Heero didn't tell Duo that because Heero's a sadistic bastard... of course!   
GHOST WHISPER: ^_^ Yay of course I remem... um... no I don't... but I love you anyway! ^_^; I always put the other pilots in even if they don't get a very big role. They're Duo and Heero's family (whether they want to admit it or not) and they are a part of Duo and Heero's life. Naked Trowa? *innocent look* *laugh* Actually, one of my new favorite pairings is Duo/Trowa so... that's where the naked Trowa came in... sorry to scare you! But don't worry! This will stay Duo/Heero all the way! But if that couple interests you, look out for a new fic titled: Cloying Voices.  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	16. Next Time We Meet

Petra: We all knew it was too good to be true...  
Kati: We all knew it had to end eventually...  
Petra: We knew the peace couldn't last...  
Kati: *cries* She had to be in here somewhere...  
  
DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: Slight angst... but I don't think you'll care when you see who's doing the cryin'.  
DISCLAIMER: Nothin' fancy, just a simple, I don't own the Pilots... See... slavery is illegal... (Kati: Not that you haven't tried!)  
  
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If You Could: Next Time We Meet  
  
"True love never dies. It only fades into nothing, like a shadow under a slowly brightening morning light." -0083; Evergreen (GW)  
  
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Heero opened the door to his apartment and listened, smiling, as he heard no American voice. Tonight was the night. Tonight was the night when anything and everything could happen. He placed the two bags of groceries on the counter and then began to take out the items that, tonight, would create a delicious pasta dinner.   
  
He was just putting the tomatoes in the fridge when a knock sounded at the door. He stood back up, shutting the fridge, as a confused look appeared on his face. Quatre was keeping Duo out of the apartment until he could get it ready. Trowa and Wufei were out on a mission…so, who could be at the door?   
  
'It can't be Artemis or her friends, they never knock and are always just… there… So, that must mean, it has to be…' The thought came too late as he opened the door to greet… 'Relena.'   
  
"HEERO-KUN!!" She screeched, making him wince slightly as she immediately 'glomped' on the harassed boy. "Heero-kun, I went back to find you and you weren't there and I was so sure that you'd disappeared again or that maybe you were on a mission-"  
  
With strong, not so gentle hands, he pulled her away from him and asked, "Relena-sama, what is it? If you have nothing useful to say to me I would like you to leave. I have things I need to do."  
  
Relena blinked at him in surprise, staring at him before replying, "Why, Heero-kun, I came because I love you and you want me to chase you…"  
  
Heero shook his head as Relena trailed off, a smile quirking his lips. "Relena-sama, I do not want you to chase me. I never did and I never will. I don't know why you don't understand."  
  
Relena, surprised at the smile, knew that she must be getting through to him if she had made him display emotion. (For, dearest readers, you must remember that the Her Pinkness doesn't know Heero lost his memory.) "But, Heero-kun, I know you love me."  
  
A sharp bark of laughter cut her off and she stared, slightly hurt, mostly in awe, at the way his voice sounded. "Relena-sama, yes, I do love someone, but that person is not you… in fact, you're complete opposites."  
  
For a moment, the memory of Iris saying that he was in love with someone else tormented her mind but she pushed it back, determined that he was pretending for some reason or other. "Heero-kun, you don't have to keep playing this game. I-"   
  
This time, she was cut off by an angry growl and she looked up to find that Heero was staring at her with annoyance and anger. "Listen, Relena-sama, I appreciate that you like me, hell, maybe even love me, but I can't say the same. I am *not* playing hard to get and I am *not* doing it for the mission! Do you want to know who I love? Do you want to know who I think about every spare minute? Do you want to know who I ate breakfast in bed with this morning? DO YOU?!" Relena, took a step back, and couldn't help but feel a little frightened at the anger he was displaying.   
  
"First off, it's not a she, it's a he. If that's not enough of a hint for you, I don't know what it. I don't like females. I find *males* more attractive then *females*! I am gay, a homosexual, and it's not because of how I grew up and yes, whatever higher beings still cares for me and no, I will never like women! I find your *brother* more attractive than you!" She stared at him and she couldn't keep back the tears that began to fill her eyes. "In particular, I like one boy. He's got beautiful violet eyes and waist-length golden-brown hair that I would give almost anything to touch. He always wears a smile and, almost ninety-nine percent of the time, it's real. I was horrible to him before, I don't deserve him, but I plan on spending the rest of my life trying to make it up to him. His name is *Duo* *Maxwell* and I would give my life for him." Now the tears were freely pouring down Relena's face as she listened to something she never thought she'd hear.   
  
"He grew up on the street, you grew up like a princess; he was so malnourished when he was child that he will never grow to be as tall as he could have been; you will grow to be as tall as you possibly can. More importantly, he's male, you're not. He's the one I love, the one I want to SLEEP with, not you." Then, so gently she felt new tears start, he cupped her face in his hands and made her look at him. His eyes held love but, she realized with the deepest sort of pain, that look wasn't for her but, instead, a young man with an always cheerful grin. "Relena-sama, I respect you for what you're trying to do and I believe, with all my heart, that you are one of the only few people who can do it. Now, you need to stand tall and get over me. Then, maybe when you do, we can meet again, and maybe we can become friends because that is all I can offer."   
  
As he wiped the tears away from her cheeks she asked, in a voice barely above a whisper, "Are you so sure you can't love me?"   
  
Heero stared at her, sorrow reflecting in his eyes for her, as he answered, "Not the way you want me to. Perhaps as a brother, definitely as a friend… but, never as you want me to."  
  
Relena looked back at the ground and, as her heart shattered, she also felt it begin to heal. "I... understand. I wish with all my heart it could have been different but, as long as you're happy, I'll accept it. If you ever need anything, though, call me." Gently, she turned her face so that she could kiss his palm before turning and walking out the door. As she walked into the elevator, she turned around and said, "And next time we meet, let's pretend it's the first time." And then she was gone, disappearing in a whirl of pink and blonde.   
  
Heero stood for a while at the door, before turning back inside with a smile, knowing in his heart that Relena would be fine. As he turned back in his started as he saw Artemis, Iris, Hebe, Aphrodite, and Athena standing a few steps away from him. Then, all together, they said, "We're here to help you get ready!" Then, looking at each other, they yelled, "MISSION LOVE, IT'S BLAST OFF TIME!" Heero knew that if he were an anime character, at that moment he would have sweat-dropped.   
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: Yes, the goddesses are being dorky; they're doing so on purpose. 'Ro needs to be a little cheered up after that...  
Kati: Poor, 'Ro... *sighs* I wouldn't wish Relena one my dearest enemy...  
Petra: Kati... that's because your dearest enemy could be a Relena-wanna-be, if she only knew who Relena was...  
Kati: Point. Anyways, sorry that was so short...  
Petra: And, as always, thanks to those readers who were kind and good enough to review, such as:  
  
GHOST WHISPER: I am not selling naked bisie pictures! Really... I just took some... and gave the rest back to the people in the pictures... at a price... Yeah! I'm glad someone figured it out! Yes, the last line in the last chapter was from one of Heero-kun's image songs... I thought it fit so...   
DRAGEN EYES: I... don't know... -_-; Sorry, about it not being finished but, despite what it may look like, I am trying to get it finished. Don't worry, long reviews don't annoy me at all, I feel extremely privileged that you would like my story enough to put so much time into writing a review. After this chapter, Relena is definately out of the picture now, wouldn't you say? I know, but Duo angst is the best! That was one of the reasons that I had to write this story, because I needed to see Heero-kun happy but I didn't know how to do so without making him totally out of character. Then, I read a story where Duo-kun lost his memory and I thought... why not Heero-kun? I don't know... I don't really see Duo as a guitar player... I don't really know, I guess, I just think Duo-kun would be a singer. Trust me, you'll be seeing more goddesses, though I'll admit most people don't really care for them, which makes me a little sad. I'm really glad that you like them so much. Y'know what I just noticed... you call Duo-kun by his name, but you called "Heero-kun" just plain Yuy... why is that? Sorry, got a little off track... Anways... Yes, I'm feeling a lot better now, better than I've felt since third grade. Happy ending? ^_- Mebbe... mebbe not... I hope you slept well!  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	17. Violet Eyes

Petra: groans This story never ends, it feels like....   
Kati: Shush! It's almost over! I promise.   
Petra: This is perhaps the most gushy yet angsty part of story where you will want to beat Duo's head with a rock.   
Kati: In other words... Lots of fun!   
Petra: snort   
Kati: Well... I'm proud of it...

DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.   
WARNING: Angst. Enough sweetness to rot out your teeth. An incredibly frustrating Duo. A singing, piano playing Heero...   
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gundam Wing. However, the goddesses are my own creation (based loosely on my friends).

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If You Could: Violet Eyes

" 'Does it still hurt?' 'All the time,' I whisper without thinking, a half-choked sob nearly following it, upset to the edge of tears with the cruelty of my life." -Tayles; Eternal One Night Stand (GW)

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Duo smiled and watched as Quatre went into the apartment across from his then sighed. When he'd woken up Heero had been gone with only a note that he 'gone out to get groceries' to show he'd even been there. Then, a half hour after he'd gotten up, Quatre had come over and demanded that they go out and do something so, no matter how much Duo had wanted to stay and see where these new developments was leading, they had gone out exploring.

He rolled his neck and felt it pop, feeling the tension of the day leak from his shoulders and an entirely different tension fill the empty space. As he stepped into the room he was surprised to smell pasta and then, movement made him look down at his feet. His eyes widened as he saw that his opening the door had scattered irises all across the room, out of the neat path they had been laid in. Irises, that were the exact shade of his eyes… That was when he noticed the balloon drifting in place before him, the note attached to it waving tantalizingly in front of his eyes, making him reach out and grab it, untying it. Duo was scrawled neatly across it and inside: 'Koibito, if you would not mind joining me on the balcony by following the path of violet irises, I would love to have dinner with you. Yours, 'Ro.' Duo giggled a little at the fact that he had signed it 'Hee-chan', before turning serious as he again saw the path of flowers. No lights were turned on, instead candles had been placed along the floor, lighting the way. As he turned the corner he stopped in surprise as he saw that there were five balloons to the door to the balcony.

Carefully he caught the first one. This one had the word, 'koi', scrawled across it. 'I still can't figure out why he calls me a fish.' He opened the note and, scrawled in Heero's familiar handwriting, it read: 'Dreams of Love; By Jessica Burnett. The way you look at me / is an epiphany on the / ages that time forgot / the sun and the moon / in the same dark ocean sky'

'Poetry…' Duo felt his heart begin to beat a little faster as he reached the next one, noting vaguely that this one was labeled 'koibito'. It read: 'And love loving hate / and hate surrendering to love / and when you touch me / I forget all rules of / flesh and I become / one with you, inside / your body and your mind / no longer just two / instead just one'

He felt a dark flush coloring his cheeks as he reread 'inside your body'. Absently, with the words still echoing in his head, he noticed that this one was labeled 'kokoro': 'snow flies in July / when you decide to smile / and when you laugh / the sun changes course / and disappears into my eyes'

Duo couldn't help but smile at that. The next read: 'And (if) if you say you love me / I die when I am alive / The sky isn't blue anymore / and it's underneath our feet' Love? Was Heero asking him to love…? He suddenly realized he hadn't read what it had been labeled. Then he gaped as it read, 'Koi/koibito Love/lover'.

He almost ran to the last one which had been labeled 'Kokoro heart/soul.' He almost tore the paper his fingers were shaking so badly as he tried to unfold it so he could read: 'Because with you / time can flow backward / and the grass can turn / any shade of the rainbow…'

Duo read it twice. It seemed like there should be more… Then, he started as he realized that gentle piano music was drifting through the door. Gently, softly, almost hesitantly, afraid that he would wake from what he was scared was a dream, he opened the door. Then, he could only stare in shock as what appeared to be a small forest sitting on their balcony. His gaze then drifted down to look at Heero who was dressed in a blue shirt that matched his eyes, baring the top half of his chest, and gray slacks, his feet bare. His fingers were running gracefully over the keys. At that moment Heero turned to look at Duo and, smiling a smile that made Duo's heartbeat increase dramatically, he said, "But never compare to you."

Then he stood up and, holding a single white rose, he handed it gently to Duo, saying, "I made dinner for you, koibito." Then, he gently took Duo's hand leading him farther into the forest and to a small picnic that was lit by candlelight. Gently, he sat Duo down and then sat next to the American, presenting the other with a plate. "You once said that you could live off pasta forever and that if you had one meal to eat before you die, you wanted it to be this."

Duo stared at him in shock. That had been a while ago, when he had thought that Heero didn't feel anything for him, and he had started talking about pasta because, at that moment, he hadn't known what else to talk about. He'd never thought Heero listened to him… He'd mentioned it once, but Heero still remembered. "Thanks…" Duo said, taking the plate. Heero watched closely as Duo picked up his fork and took a bite. A grin spread across his features as the delightful flavor spread over his tongue and down his throat. "Wow… 'Ro, this is really, really good!"

"Aa. I'm glad," and then Heero poured some champagne in two glasses.

"What, are you tryin' to get me drunk?" Duo asked jokingly, as he took a sip of the champagne.

Heero simply smiled and said, "Maybe."

After that there was quiet talking and more eating where Duo learned some of the memories that Heero had. At one point, Heero looked at Duo and asked, "Duo…?" Duo quirked his head and waited for Heero to continue. "Kokoro… do you believe in magic…?"

Duo stared at Heero, surprised at the question, answered right away, "I don't really know. I never thought about it…"

Heero looked at the sky for a moment and then looked back at Duo before saying, "I do. I believe that there's magic all around us and that we're so used to it we don't realize it's even there…"

"What about this…?" Duo motioned vaguely around him, at the forest that had seemingly just appeared on the balcony. "Is this, was this, magic?"

Heero looked around, at the trees and grass, at the beautiful boy sitting across from him and, without hesitation, said, "Hai."

Duo nodded, for Heero said it so honestly and so seriously, that Duo had no choice but to believe him. They say there in silence for a while and then Duo began to laugh, a soft sound, almost self-deprecating.

"What?" Heero asked, confused at the change in his love's mood.

Duo laughed a little more and than said, "What Relena wouldn't give to be here…"

"Yes, she'd probably give anything…" Heero said, watching Duo thoughtfully. "But she'll get over it and move on, just like I told her to."

Duo stared at him confused before asking, "What do you mean, 'like I told her to'?"

Heero smiled and leaned back against a tree. "Well, she stopped by to see me this afternoon. We talked. She left. Next time we meet, we're going to pretend it's the first time."

"Why?"

"Because I don't love her. I could never love her."

Duo tried to squash the hope rising in his chest. "Why?"

"I like boys…"

"Ah…"

"One boy in particular…"

"Ah…" The question 'who' almost tore Duo's throat apart, trying to get out. He couldn't help it, he was so scared to get his hopes up, but all the signs were pointing that Heero liked him, maybe even loved him… but it was still too much to ask. Too much was on the line and he didn't want to know if it was someone else.

"Who I love with all my heart…" 'Is that love in his eyes…? No, Duo, don't get your hopes up, man. It'll just hurt all that more when you fall crashing to the ground… Besides, he doesn't have the other half of the necklace.' Heero watched as Duo's hand rose unconsciously to clutch both dolphin and cross. "Duo…?" Duo looked up. "What do you fight for?"

The question surprised Duo and he wondered if Heero remembered when he had asked the same question. "Um… well… I guess… peace." Heero nodded and then waited. "Family… I always wanted a family, you know, a Mom and Dad to call my own, maybe a little sister." Heero quirked a brow, still waiting, as Duo finally whispered, so softly it was hard to hear, "Love, for a hope of one day bein' in love and havin' that love returned…"

"Me too," Heero said, watching as Duo's head snapped up in surprise. "Because one day I'm going to live happily after, in a land full of peace, with the one I love, as we make a family." Heero grinned as he said, "I think I'd like to have a daughter… a sweet little girl with violet eyes and golden-brown hair."

Duo quickly changed the topic, the warmth of the dolphin spreading from his chest to his toes to his fingertips but chilling his heart. 'Who has the other half…?'

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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.

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Petra: See, I told you you'd want to beat Duo's head with a rock!   
Kati: It's not his fault, Heero's just hurt him so many times...   
Petra: shrugs Whatever... Anyways, the poem is by Jessica Burnett who is also known as Black Beyond. Go read her stuff. She does absolutely amazing poems and, wow, talk about her fanfiction.   
Kati: Also, feel free to visit our site.   
Petra: It's not finished.   
Kati: Nor will it probably ever be... but... shrug   
Petra: For those of you still reading this long, long, long story... Thanks:

LEEMAX: Heero's very sweet in this one. I think that's one of many ways that the boy could turn out. I mean, he has to internalize all of his emotions.   
DRAGEN EYES: laugh Yeah... I could see Duo as being drums... and maybe guitars, though it would have to be electric, no way I could picture him playing just a regular guitar. And the singing... swoons laughs Heero... --; I can't picture him singing at all, but sometimes, as a writer, things just pop up, whether you could picture them happening or not and... this was one of them. "It"? laugh Yes, "it" is rather gone! laugh Ah... the goddesses. They've seen a lot, they have to be very everything. And I think sad goes into thta a lot. Months... without updates... --; feels horribly, awfully, insanely bad about the eight months of not updating However, I do have a valid excuse, if you'll just read in the profile-thingy. laugh And thank you for the long review. I read of all it and I wish I could get into reading like you do! laugh Though, yes, it does sound very exhausting. But, y'know, I think it'd be worth it. Anyways, I would love to write some more and make my reply as long as your wonderful, WONDERFUL review, but I figured you'd rather see this posted than a long review so... shrug Again, thanks for the long and insightful review. I love listening to feedback!

"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam

Petra Megami Assari   
The Gentle Tiger Goddess


	18. The Other Half

Petra: This is it! YESSSSSSSS!  
Kati: cheers wildly  
Petra: I did it! I finished the story!  
Kati: Yay!  
Petra: This is it, guys, the last installment on this series. This has gone on for SOOOO long!  
Kati: It's taken forever!  
Petra: But it's finally done.  
Kati: We're sorry that it took so long.  
Petra: And we're sorry that it's not as good as we'd have liked it to be.  
Kati: But it's not horrid either... at least, I don't think it is.  
Petra: Also, there's a method behind all the madness that is this story, goddesses and all.  
Kati: See, orignally this story was going to tie into 'Oathbound,' once we got that rewritten...  
Petra: But then we never really got around to rewriting it so... shrug  
Kati: We hope that you enjoyed the story, even if it could have used improvement.  
Petra: Thank you for reading.

DEDICATED: For the gundam pilots; I would set them free of their memories and guilt if I could.  
WARNING: Shonen-ai. Angst. Endings. Finally!  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gundam Wing (and thus, I do not own Heero and Duo). However, I did create the necklaces and the tale behind him. I also created the goddesses, who are loosely based off of my friends.

**_IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ MY MY PROFILE FOR IMPORTANT INFORMATION!_**

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If You Could: The Other Half

"This is one of those moments, you know, those moments that you'll keep for the rest of your life, buried just below the surface. And you'll pull them out every once and a while when you're feeling nostalgic, and you'll remember them with a sad smile and a warm feeling in your chest." -Rzrblade33; A Dream Worth Keeping (GW)

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Later that night, after dinner, they lay gazing at the stars, talking quietly, hands touching but not being held. Suddenly, Heero let out a gasp and, grabbing Duo's hand, whispered, "Look. Two shooting stars."

Duo looked to where the other boy was pointing and, sure enough, two shooting stars, side by side, streaked across the sky, disappearing into the darkness that they had appeared from. "Two wishes. One for each of us."

Heero smiled and nodded, closing his eyes. 'Please, whatever higher being is out there, whatever happens next, whatever the boy I love says, let him be happy, even if it's not with me.' He opened his eyes to see Duo staring at him.

"What'd you wish for?" Duo asked, his voice low.

Heero shook his head, simply looking at Duo, watching as the moonlight made his violet eyes appear unearthly and his hair almost silver. "Kokoro…" Heero whispered, brushing his fingers down Duo's cheek. Then, slowly, he moved so that he was propped above Duo, his shoulder length hair falling around his face like a curtain. "Ai shiteru, koibito, ai shiteru." And Heero bent down and kissed the American.

It was a simple kiss, just a press of closed lips against closed lips, both people inexperienced, neither knowing exactly what to do. It was better than either had dreamed, though. It tasted like fireworks, ice, hot, heaven, hell, peace and war, all at once. It was wild and tame and so much more than they could ever have imagined. When Heero drew back he simply looked at the beautiful creature below him for a long moment before finally saying, "In Japan there are two ways of saying 'I love you'. One is 'suki da' and it is between girlfriends and boyfriends who will probably never get married or couples that are just dating for fun." Heero paused, wondering if he was doing the right thing. "The other is 'ai shiteru' and it is said between serious couples, it's pretty much like saying 'I love you forever'…"

Heero's words, before he had kissed Duo, echoed in Duo's head. There was no hesitation in his voice as Duo responded, "Ai shiteru, Hee-chan, with all my heart, I love you!" Heero bent down and gave Duo another kiss and, this time, when he came up a beautiful smile crossed his lips and his eyes shone with love.

Duo felt tears filling his eyes, the happiness inside him over brimming his heart, and he looked down, his eyes widening as something dangled before his eyes. On a silver chain hung a beautiful dolphin pendant, jumping out of glass water that was shaped in a lopsided half triangle. With trembling fingers he picked both up… and placed them together.

A blinding flash of gold and silver made them squeeze their eyes shut. When they opened them, they were standing in what appeared to be their forest except… there were no city lights… and they were surrounded in a white mist to the point where they could only see five steps in front of them.

"You did it… despite all the odds, you did it!" Heero turned in surprise to see Artemis, Aphrodite, and Athena. All three women were smiling happily, but their eyes were almost sad…

"Arte-chan… what…?" Heero said, holding Duo's hand a little tighter than he needed to.

"Odin-chan," Athena said, as Artemis turned to Aphrodite and started to cry. "We're here to say good-bye."

"Good-bye! But… what…" Heero didn't understand. Duo squeezed his hand reassuringly and, when the other boy turned toward him, Duo smiled, trying to comfort his love.

"Odin-chan, we used more energy that we thought we had and now we're going to whatever is next," Athena wasn't crying but Heero could see she wanted to. "Don't worry, though, we've lived longer than we wanted to and now, we go on."

"Who, what, are you?" Duo asked, watching the hurt in Heero's eyes and wishing he could do something to make it go away.

Athena looked back at Artemis who nodded, just once, and then Athena turned back to them and answered, "We are named what we are."

Duo stared at them in confusion and Heero asked, "Athena?"

Duo's eyes widened as he realized what she was saying. "You are you. You are your name… you're goddesses!" Heero turned to Duo in shock and then to the three women.

Athena nodded and then she walked over to them and hugged them both. "Be happy. Once the war is over, and it will be over, do what you've always wanted to do and then begin to bring real peace to the world." Suddenly the memory of Artemis and what she said overwhelmed him: 'The war will never end.' She had said. 'Oh yes, this war in particular will end one day but… hate, fear, the hurting of other people, it will never stop, not in this world… but, I promise you, upon the grave of my father's father, you will see another world where it will happen and, though the cost will be great and the toll will be harder than you can imagine, in the end, it will be worth it to see a world truly, once and for all, at peace.'

The words echoed in Duo's head and he smiled, saying in agreement, "Yes, we will work to bring real peace and, someday, we will see a new world…" He untwined his hand from Heero and instead, wrapped it around the other boy's waist, Heero following suit.

Athena turned to Heero and said, "Be strong, everyone in the world needs you to be strong for them. That's a lot to ask, but you are the only person who can do it. We know you can do it." With another hug she began to walk off toward the mists and then stopped. "Oh yeah, I completely forgot. Say hi to that cutie Trowa for me!" With a quick blown kiss, she was gone.

Artemis suddenly came over and wrapped her arms around Heero. "Odin-chan!" For a minute she sobbed into Heero's shoulder and then she back away and, staring teary-eyed, hugged Duo also, Aphrodite following and hugged both of them also.

Then, they stepped back and simply looked at them, like proud parents. "Heero," Heero jumped at the sound of his name from Artemis lips, as she had never called him anything but Odin-chan. "Duo." Duo nodded, tightening his arm around the other's waist. "As you never knew you parents or grandparents, and as your unknown-number-of-great grandmothers, we want to wish you both a happy life."

"What?" "Nani?" Heero and Duo both said, looking at the two in confusion.

"Yep! That's right, you've got our blood flowing through your veins. How else do you think you were able to control the Gundams? Gundanium is the metal of the gods and you have to have their blood in you and a pure heart in order to control even a small piece of it." They both smiled and brushed a piece of hair out of their child's face. "We want you to know we'll always be there for you…"

"Where are you going…?" Heero asked, feeling a little lost. The person who had seemed like a mother to him was leaving.

Artemis shrugged. "We don't know. Hebe seems to think that we'll be reborn and I'd like to think that. Goddess, I hope so."

Aphrodite leaned over and whispered something in Artemis's ear before turning to the boys. "I need to go. Duo, I love you like a son. I will always be watching over you and, someday, you will get the same chance I'm getting. We will both be reborn and will be able to live without the burdens on our souls that we have." She turned to Heero. "Heero, you'd better take of Duo for me because, I'm warning you, if you hurt him, I don't care if I've forgotten everything, I will find out about it and, without knowing why, will seek you out to hurt you ten times worse." With that she walked away, the mist wrapping around her as though in a hug.

Artemis turned toward them and said, "Well, this is it. I love you both with all my heart. Will we meet again. Ja ne!"

"Ja ne! We will see you again! Never 'sayonara'!" Heero said, feeling tears leak down his face. And then, right in front of their eyes, she disappeared, leaving only the sweet smell of vanilla and, sooner than they wanted, the wind had wiped any trace of Artemis away from them. For a moment, the mist around them turned a light blue-green like that of Artemis's eyes, and then it was normal.

"No one will remember them… at least not as they were. They'll only be tales in storybooks and ways to look at the Greeks so they can ask questions like why they thought this or that," Duo said, feeling a great sorrow surround them.

"No… we will remember them and, I know, we will meet them again. That's why she said 'ja ne' instead of 'sayonara'. 'Ja ne' means 'we will meet again' while 'sayonara' is more of 'good-bye forever'," Heero said and then, gently, turned Duo's face toward his and kissed the American. This time the kiss was full of sadness, regrets, and 'what ifs', and both the young men could taste the other's tears.

When they opened their eyes they were back on the balcony, standing, embracing. They looked out at the sky and saw two shooting stars again. Heero turned and said, "Make a wish for both you and I."

Duo closed his eyes and whispered, "I wish that this war will be over without as much death as I fear that it will take and I wish that all the women who used to be goddesses will live happily ever after." Then, he turned to Heero and asked, "Where do we go from here?"

"We win the war and get peace…"

"And after 'happily ever after'?"

Heero smiled looking at the sky. He no longer cared that most of his life was shrouded from him. He no longer cared that tomorrow would be another day of war for the peace would be worth everything except for the deaths of the people who would die. He knew that he would meet Artemis and the others again. So, he smiled and laughed, drawing Duo into a tight embrace, and saying against the lips of the man he loved, "Anything we want."

The rest of their words were swept away as a great wind swept through the sleeping city and, far away, a baby with light blue-green eyes was born and, as she looked up at her father, she laughed while the earth smiled.

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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.

-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-.

Petra: Well, there it is, the ending!  
Kati: Finally!  
Petra: We hope you enjoyed the fic!  
Kati: Thanks to those who stuck with this fic, you've been an uplifting help to the writing experience.  
Petra: So, thanks:

GAELAN: Thank you for thinking that my fic is "beautiful and interesting" I'm very flattered. I like the idea of Heero starting anew, even though I don't know what he'd be like. And, yes, Duo is very hesitant; he's been hurt a lot of time by things Heero's done or said and he's scared.  
DRAGEN EYEZ: laugh Yes, it's Relena! You've figured out my plot twist! Damn you! laugh

"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."  
-Rose Marie Ledam

Petra Megami Assari  
The Gentle Tiger Goddess


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